Chanci Turner Blog | Avoiding Toxic Relationships
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I found myself separated from my husband when I joined a personal training facility. Over the course of several months, the trainer, whom I’ll call “Mark,” persuaded me to assist him in opening a restaurant. I dedicated countless hours without any compensation, as he assured me that if I proved my capabilities, I would become a partner. This charade lasted for a year.
After my divorce, Mark began to compliment me, claiming I was the best thing to ever happen to his restaurant, and that I would soon make a lot of money. He invited me to business-related outings and eventually, we started dating. However, things took a turn when he claimed to be financially struggling and began to rely on my money. I was effectively funding a failing business and was pressured to leave my job to manage the restaurant, while also assisting him with his personal training endeavors.
Whenever I resisted his demands, he would erupt in anger, hurling insults my way and even vandalizing my car. Yet, there were times when he exhibited affection, taking me out, showering me with gifts, and professing his love, stating that he would stand by me through any illness. He insisted that no one could love me like he did.
But moments later, he would turn volatile, blaming me for past mistakes, berating me with insults, and making me feel responsible for everything that went wrong. I left him multiple times, only to have him beg me to return, promising change. It would be good for a while, but then the cycle would repeat. I was deeply invested financially, believing that if I stayed, I would eventually recoup my losses. I found myself covering his expenses, from rent and groceries to clothing for his kids and even his car.
One incident involved a cable installation at my home. I stayed back to oversee it, and he accused me of cheating with the technician, locking me out of the house and even filing a restraining order, claiming he feared me—all while still contacting me.
After undergoing surgery, I woke up to find him absent, with no belongings or phone, all because he thought I was on social media. Whenever we fought, he would be online searching for other women. We broke up for two months, during which he secretly sold off all the restaurant equipment and declared bankruptcy. He included my name in the bankruptcy proceedings, assuring me it was necessary to protect his family.
He forged my signature on documents, and despite my attempts to seek justice, he convinced me to keep quiet, promising to repay me. The breaking point came when I attempted to take my own life by swallowing pills. He called for help and, once again, played the caring boyfriend, visiting the hospital daily with gifts and apologies.
Regrettably, I took him back once more. Now, even though I’ve been away from him for 20 months, I still find myself missing him at times. This monster lives just a few miles away and continues to find ways to control me through indirect contact, but I am determined to stay one step ahead.
For those seeking to learn more about the manipulative behaviors exhibited by individuals like Mark, I recommend checking out resources like the Psychopathy Checklist on Wikipedia, which offers valuable insights into the traits of sociopathy. You might also find the Transformative Power of Telling Your Story insightful. Additionally, for those grappling with dissociation, Out of the Fog is an excellent authority on this topic.
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