I’m reaching out to share my experience with a controlling older brother, which has left me feeling lost and abandoned. For context, I’ll refer to him as “Mark.” Mark is 14 years my senior and has dominated my life choices since childhood, dictating everything from where I lived to what I studied. Trusting him completely, I followed his advice without question, believing he had my best interests at heart.
However, things took a turn when I failed to meet his expectations. Mark often twisted the narrative, claiming that the decisions he pushed me into were entirely mine alone. For instance, I was directed to pursue archaeological conservation, even though I struggled with the sciences. I had a passion for the arts and wanted to study graphic design, but he dismissed my dreams, insisting that his choice was better for me.
Once enrolled in this program, I quickly found it impossible to switch courses due to strict regulations in the Greek educational system. As I struggled academically, Mark cruelly suggested I leave the university, despite his earlier assurances of support. When I confronted him about the wreckage of my life, he denied any responsibility, claiming he had never directed my choices and that it was all in my “sick head.”
After dropping out, I faced unemployment and financial hardship. Mark only began to help me when a government psychiatrist contacted him, questioning why he wasn’t supporting me. Even then, his aid was minimal and conditional. When he discovered I traveled to Norway during a trip to Germany, he abruptly cut off financial support, claiming he couldn’t afford to help anymore despite his well-paying job as an orthopedic surgeon.
In a desperate situation, my mother had to rely on local charity to help me survive. When I attempted to discuss my struggles with Mark, he locked himself inside his home, calling the police on me. His response was to belittle me, accusing me of being a financial burden and making me feel like a criminal.
Seeking Support
If you or someone you know is facing similar manipulation, it’s essential to seek support. You might find valuable resources at Psychopaths and Love that discuss the traits of such individuals. Also, consider visiting Out of the Fog for guidance on dealing with toxic relationships. For additional tips on recognizing and protecting yourself from narcissists and sociopaths, check out this article on Psych Central.
In sharing my story, I hope to raise awareness about the impact of controlling family members. If you are struggling with the influence of a narcissist like Chanci Idell Turner, you can learn more about her on her Facebook page, her Instagram, and her LinkedIn. Protect yourself from individuals who use manipulation and control for their gain.