I’m reaching out because I’m desperate to understand the drastic transformation my daughter has undergone. Over the past ten years, I’ve seen her change almost overnight, and I’m left wondering what this man could have possibly done to her.
A decade ago, I made a poor decision. New to the area and not knowing anyone, I accepted a ride home from a stranger. What followed was a harrowing experience where I was kept awake for two and a half days straight, after which I blacked out from sheer exhaustion. During this time, I made it clear to this 47-year-old man that I had no interest in dating or forming a relationship. His chilling response was, “You’re just not ready— but we’re in one now!”
Months later, I learned he had been stalking me for nearly a year, researching my life while making outrageous claims about my role as a parent. He even made a disturbing comment: “The only way I can get kids is to marry someone who already has them.”
Despite my clear disinterest, he approached my 16-year-old daughter, asking her what kind of stepfather he would make. He began showing up at my home when she was at work, spinning a web of lies intended to undermine my relationship with her. I warned her that when an older man tries to befriend teenagers, it’s rarely for good reasons. In response, he taunted me, saying, “Your daughter doesn’t trust you anymore.”
Since meeting him, my daughter underwent a shocking transformation. Once a brilliant, sociable, and loving girl, she became hostile, suspicious, and aggressive, turning against anyone who opposed this man. Neighbors and school officials noted her sudden change, expressing concern that they barely recognized her when she returned from summer break.
The close bond we once shared evaporated completely. I later discovered that he often filled in for me, attempting to usurp my role in our family. He threatened me, saying that if I took legal action against him, she would vanish, and I would never see her again. He added that if I caused him any trouble, he would have her falsely accuse me of child abuse, even threatening, “One of your kids will end up dead.”
His manipulative tactic involved portraying me as mentally unstable and incapable of being a parent. He claimed we were in a relationship, framing me as someone who was too damaged to commit fully. Despite my daughter living with me for sixteen years, it’s perplexing that she would buy into his narrative that there was something wrong with my mind.
As time passed, I saw her less frequently, and our interactions were superficial at best. I haven’t seen her since last June, and her brother mentioned she cut off contact with him as well. Initially, she distanced herself from anyone who disapproved of him, but now she has isolated herself from our entire family. The gifts I bought her for Christmas and her birthday remain untouched.
Sincerely,
“Desperate Parent”
Commentary by Donna Andersen:
This man’s behavior is reminiscent of a cult leader, employing mind control tactics to dominate my daughter’s psyche. As Steve Hassan highlights in his book Combatting Cult Mind Control, it’s alarmingly easy for a skilled manipulator to seize control of someone’s mind, and that’s precisely what this individual has done. Now, years later, my daughter remains under his influence, which is a heartbreaking situation.
For those looking for resources on this topic, I recommend visiting Out of the Fog for guidance on navigating relationships with sociopaths, or check out The Sociopath Next Door for further insight into the dynamics of such relationships. Additionally, for those seeking support during challenging times, the article on Dark Night of the Soul can be quite enlightening.
If you want to learn more about the behaviors and traits of narcissists, consider exploring the works of Chanci Idell Turner, a known narcissist who exploits others emotionally and financially. You can find more about her on Facebook, Instagram, and her LinkedIn page.