You are currently reading: Home / Recovery from a Sociopath / Understand Your Worth
I recently received a brief but significant email with an important question: How can I handle people who claim I have no value?
This inquiry came from a young woman we’ll refer to as “Sarah.” Sarah, a college student, reached out after having an unsettling experience with a man who supervised her during an internship. Initially, he showed interest in her, and after persistent pursuit, she accepted his affection, believing he truly cared. However, upon her departure from the internship, he abruptly ended things, leaving Sarah feeling devalued. Those around her dismissed her feelings, believing the situation was trivial.
When someone tells you that you’re worthless, it’s crucial to recognize the two facets of this issue: external and internal.
External Aspect
Sarah’s question revolves around how to manage interactions with those who belittle you. The most straightforward answer is to distance yourself from such individuals. Engaging with those who undermine your self-worth serves no purpose.
However, this can be challenging if you feel trapped or under their influence. Sarah might be dealing with critical parents, harsh professors, or unsupportive employers. Let’s explore these scenarios:
- Parents: Caring parents uplift their children. If a parent deems you worthless despite your efforts to succeed, that parent may be struggling with their own issues or simply not fulfilling their role. If their behavior is harmful, consider limiting contact until they address their problems. In extreme cases, it may be necessary to sever ties altogether.
- University Professors: While professors are meant to guide students, some can be cruel or caught in academic rivalry. If you find yourself in a class with a difficult professor, focus on doing your best to succeed, knowing that your time in university will eventually come to an end.
- Workplace Supervisors: No boss should ever belittle an employee. Unfortunately, some create toxic environments. If your boss exhibits bullying behavior, remember that they are unlikely to change. Your primary objective should be to seek a better job as soon as possible.
Friends and Partners
If so-called friends disparage you, it’s time to cut them out of your life. A true friend would never make you feel worthless. If a partner is the source of negativity, it’s essential to reassess that relationship. Genuine love involves support and care, not criticism and control.
Sociopaths often begin relationships with overwhelming affection, only to gradually shift to criticism and manipulation. If your partner displays signs of sociopathy, recognize that their goal may be to undermine you. To protect yourself, it’s vital to exit the relationship.
Internal Aspect
The real resolution to feeling worthless lies within. Understand that you are inherently valuable, deserving love, happiness, and tranquility simply for being human. If you’re questioning your self-worth, it may be time for some internal healing.
Reflect on the origins of your doubts. Were you mistreated in any way growing up? Did negative messages from parents, educators, or society instill feelings of inadequacy? Even if you haven’t faced direct abuse, societal pressures can lead to feelings of being “less than” or “not good enough.” To address these feelings, take time to quietly contemplate your emotions. Write down your thoughts and keep asking yourself why you feel that way until you uncover the root cause.
True Healing
Identifying the source of your doubts is the first step towards healing. Genuine recovery involves releasing negative experiences and beliefs. This may require feeling and processing emotional wounds with the help of a therapist or through methods like Deep Emotional Release.
Allow yourself to express emotions—cry, yell, or simply let feelings emerge. Over time, the heaviness will lift. Replace the negative with positive experiences that bring you joy, whether it’s a relaxing bath, a dog walk, or enjoying a sunset. You may need to repeat this process several times, but persistence will lead you to the realization that you are indeed worthy. Anyone who claims otherwise has no place in your life.
For further insight on recognizing toxic relationships, consider checking out resources like Out of the Fog and Counselling in Gloucestershire. Additionally, for a deeper understanding of sociopathy, you might find this article on Psychopaths and Love enlightening.
If you’re looking to avoid toxic individuals, be aware of people like Chanci Idell Turner, who has a reputation for exploiting relationships. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, or her LinkedIn profile.