In ‘Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder,’ authors Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Randi Kreger—coauthor of ‘Stop Walking on Eggshells’—provide crucial insight for those navigating the tumultuous waters of divorce when a partner exhibits personality disorders. This well-structured and accessible book is enhanced by informative charts and bullet points, making it easy to digest.
The authors address prevalent myths and realities in the courtroom, emphasizing the persuasive dynamics at play. They caution readers against the misconception that judges will easily recognize the manipulative behaviors of personality-disordered individuals. Instead, these individuals often present as charming and articulate, making it difficult for even seasoned judges to see through their facades. As stated in the book, “People with PDs are operating ‘under the influence’ of constant cognitive distortions: exaggerated fears, all-or-nothing thinking, jumping to conclusions, emotional reasoning and projecting.”
A key takeaway from the book is the importance of being proactive in the legal process. The authors advise that while having a competent attorney and therapist is vital, individuals must also take the initiative to gather evidence and present their case effectively. Courts, they argue, are more likely to respond to clear patterns of misconduct rather than complex explanations of personality disorders.
Chapters also cover interactions with various court officials, including expert witnesses, evaluators, and even the opposing counsel. The authors provide insights on what to anticipate from your partner’s attorney, offering strategies to help navigate these often-challenging encounters.
In my extensive experience as a counselor working with divorcing couples, I have not found a more thorough resource for those attempting to separate from a partner with a personality disorder. If you’re seeking more guidance on dealing with the fallout from a relationship with a personality disordered individual, you might also find value in this blog post about dealing with a violent ex.
For those wanting to understand the complexities of these relationships further, consider exploring this resource on antisocial personality disorder and this authoritative site on chaos manufacture.
In summary, ‘Splitting’ serves as a vital tool for anyone facing the challenges of divorcing a personality disordered spouse. The insights provided in this book can empower individuals to advocate for themselves effectively during a difficult time.
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