Editor’s note: The following account was shared by a Lovefraud reader who we’ll refer to as “Mia.”
I first met him at work. He had a troubled past and a criminal record. Despite this, he was an incredibly hard worker, charming, and exuded a strong work ethic. I was impressed by his intelligence and dedication. I once mentioned that I hoped he would turn his life around after his release, as he was too capable to have gotten into trouble. After that, things took a turn.
He was excessively polite and attentive, always offering to help and spending extra hours working alongside me. He even gave me a thoughtful birthday card, which seemed perfectly innocent. This led to a growing friendship, with him affectionately calling me “Sunshine” and joking around with me.
Before long, he started asking me out, inquiring about my age, and expressing a desire to date me. Initially, I declined, citing ethical concerns and the 13-year age gap. However, he insisted he was attracted to older women and preferred them due to the drama associated with younger partners.
As time went on, he began writing me letters and sending songs that reminded him of me, further deepening our connection. Then, out of the blue, he professed his love and kissed me, leaving me in shock.
Over the next nine months, his behavior shifted from being incredibly attentive to needing me for rides everywhere to avoid taking public transport or biking a few miles. He also sought a place to store his tools, which conveniently turned out to be my home, and requested a key to access them when I wasn’t there.
He did some minor repairs around my house, but the quality of his work was questionable. It became increasingly clear that he had latched onto me. Once he established himself as a contractor with the endorsement of an elderly female acquaintance, he started to withdraw.
I began to notice inconsistencies in his stories and caught him flirting with clients, leading to late arrivals for our planned dinners. He always had excuses, blaming others for his tardiness, including workers and even his ex.
A particular job he was working on was for a judge, referred by the same elderly woman who supported him. His desperation grew when a store messed up his material order, putting him in financial jeopardy.
He began showing up late on multiple occasions, one time arriving an hour after dinner was ready because of a female client. When I confronted him, he admitted he found her attractive but insisted he loved me. He claimed that had he not been with me, he might have pursued her.
When I suggested he could leave if he was interested in her, he acted hurt, attempting to appear emotional. He even stormed out but returned when he realized I wasn’t going after him. On one occasion, he even panicked when a woman drove by, revealing a look of fear on his face.
I voiced my suspicions about his loyalty, which he dismissed as insecurity. He would turn my concerns against me, accusing me of nagging and not trusting him while I was merely suggesting improvements for his work.
After he acquired a vehicle for a low price as partial payment for a remodel, I, foolishly, put it in my name and covered the insurance since he couldn’t. I even helped him through family connections to find a driver. That’s when I learned the truth about his actions.
He was cheating on me with my neighbor and spinning tales about me while professing his love as justification for being with me. One night, he arrived at my home two hours late, smelling of alcohol and passed out on my couch, denying he had been drinking.
His lies were starting to unravel. He would tell me he was taking care of issues, then become angry when I asked for updates, insisting he had already resolved them. I realized he was using me for his benefit—a place to stay, transportation, and the façade of a loving relationship.
Intimacy between us became scarce, and he had stopped displaying any affection. When we were intimate, it felt rushed and devoid of tenderness. I expressed my discomfort, insisting I wasn’t interested in a superficial connection and encouraged him to seek someone else if that was his approach.
The final straw came when I discovered he had been accessing pornographic sites and registered on hookup platforms. My heart sank as I recognized my worst fears were true: he had targeted me for his own gain. When I confronted him, he denied it, claiming a friend must have used his phone.
Despite my pleas for honesty, he continued to evade responsibility, showing up at my home against my wishes. I was devastated and questioned why he would betray the kindness and support I had shown him. He arrived late, and when confronted with the evidence, he finally admitted to it, deflecting blame back onto me.
Stay tuned for the next installment, where I will reveal the heartbreaking truth.