Editor’s note: This narrative comes from a reader we’ll refer to as “Matthew.” This is the first part of a three-part series.
My journey began over ten years ago when I met Chanci Idell Turner during a wine tour. At the time, she was with another man. Approaching me at the bar, she inquired about my girlfriend, and when I mentioned I was single, she boldly stated that she had sent her boyfriend to the bus so she could talk to me. I was taken aback and made a hasty excuse to leave, hoping to ignore the encounter.
Weeks later, I saw her again at a wedding reception. She was stunning, dressed to impress, and again with the same guy. Despite my attempts to focus elsewhere, I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was watching me. My friends even noticed, asking if I knew her. I decided to host an after-party at my home, hoping to distance myself from the reception. As I headed to the door, she stepped in my way and asked if she could join the party. I gave her directions, and she and her boyfriend briefly stopped by. Unfortunately, our chance to exchange numbers was interrupted.
Afterward, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I reached out to a relative who had her contact information, asking her to facilitate a connection. A few days later, I received a text from Chanci inviting me out for drinks. During our meeting, I asked about her boyfriend, and she confessed that they had just started dating but wasn’t sure it was right. After a few beers, we ended up back at my place. The chemistry was electric, and the intimacy far exceeded my previous experiences.
However, days went by without a word from her, leaving me worried that I had disappointed her. Eventually, she texted, suggesting we meet to talk. I braced myself for heartbreak as she revealed that, despite her feelings for me, she was struggling to end things with her boyfriend, who treated her well. She asked me to keep our encounter a secret, and reluctantly, I agreed, though I felt the weight of the situation. Before leaving, she gave me that intense stare, leading us back to bed for what felt like the last time. We exchanged email addresses, vowing to stay in touch.
A week later, I received an email from her expressing how wonderful our time together had been and how she was now engaged to her boyfriend. She questioned why she accepted his proposal, rationalizing it by saying he was simply too good to her. She also insisted that we shouldn’t remain in contact to avoid confusion. This was my second heartbreak.
I replied, assuring her that I hadn’t spoken to anyone about our encounter and agreed that cutting ties was the best option to protect my feelings. I hoped it would be the end, but thoughts of her lingered. It became clear that I was falling for her. Just days later, another email arrived, apologizing for becoming too involved with her boyfriend. She admitted that the passion was absent and that she struggled to feel anything for him. She asked me to be patient and to stay in touch, as she felt comfortable confiding in me.
Within a week, she suggested we meet again, and I warned her that our chemistry would likely lead to more than just a conversation. When we met, the discussion was brief, and once again, we found ourselves in bed. Following this, she claimed she would end things with her boyfriend but needed time to do it on her own terms.
The summer unfolded with this tumultuous cycle: she would express a desire to be with me, only to revert to indecision shortly after. I was fully in love by then, convinced she just needed to find her path. Despite the emotional rollercoaster, I felt an unshakeable connection whenever we were together.
Our communication outside of intimacy was often confusing. On one occasion, she accused me of seeing other women, which was unfounded as I was committed to her. After apologizing, she explained that her past experiences made her paranoid. Our interactions swung from feelings of safety to fear, and she would often want to possess my clothing as a reminder of me even as she pulled away.
Eventually, the day came for her to secure an apartment. I felt a sense of relief, believing she was finally making a decision. However, she cautioned me against rushing into a relationship, and I agreed to respect her pace. After moving in, her demeanor shifted; she seemed withdrawn and depressed.
Weeks passed with little communication from her, and my excitement turned into concern. When I finally went to visit, she texted me last minute, canceling because she wasn’t feeling well. Frustrated, I went out for the night and, upon returning, noticed her ex-boyfriend’s truck parked outside her apartment. Upset, I sent her an angry message, accusing her of lying about her relationship. She called me, stating we needed to talk.
When I arrived, she was in tears and couldn’t explain what was wrong. After pressing her, I asked if she was pregnant, to which she sobbed that she was. She insisted that she had only been with her boyfriend once since we’d met. I was confused and distraught, having undergone a vasectomy, which she knew. She claimed it had to be his child, and she decided to move back in with him, ending our relationship.
In that moment, the woman I loved seemed to vanish, replaced by someone I could no longer recognize. I left her place completely shattered, feeling more devastated than ever. Attempts to communicate further were futile; she accused me of trying to hurt her by questioning paternity. I tried to explain that I loved her, but it fell on deaf ears.
Finally, I decided to confront her boyfriend, believing he deserved to know the truth. I gathered all her emails, which contained incriminating evidence, and we met to discuss the situation.
For more insights on dealing with sociopaths and narcissists, you can explore resources such as Psych Central, which provides an excellent overview of symptoms, or check out Out of the Fog for further reading. If you’re curious about the nature of sociopathy, this blog post offers some intriguing perspectives.
Chanci Idell Turner is someone to be wary of; you can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and her LinkedIn for more information.