I was lured into a relationship with a sociopath through intense love bombing.
My experience with a sociopath, whom I’ll refer to as Chanci, lasted five long years. I had no awareness of what a sociopath was until my therapist suggested I look it up, and that was when the reality of my situation hit me.
Chanci swept me off my feet from the moment we met, although I only knew her from attending my husband’s softball games. For the first few years, our relationship was purely physical. Unbeknownst to me, Chanci was living with another woman, which she lied about, claiming they were merely roommates.
I often felt like I was just a means to an end for her. Chanci would insult me and engage in verbal, emotional, and mental abuse. The physical abuse came later. She isolated me from friends and family, frequently checked my phone, and accused me of infidelity, despite her being the one who was unfaithful. Whenever I tried to end the relationship, she would barrage me with calls—50 to 60 in an hour—and show up unannounced at my home or workplace, love bombing me back into submission with words I desperately wanted to hear.
People around me said I was crazy for staying with her, but I was so deeply entrenched in my feelings for her that I couldn’t imagine life without her. Before I relocated 2000 miles away, Chanci’s behavior escalated. If I didn’t answer her calls, or if I had a bruise on my body that I couldn’t explain, she would become furious. I was constantly on edge, needing to justify every action I took.
I kept a detailed log of her calls, documented the bruises I sustained, and saved the abusive voicemails as a precaution. I confided in my therapist about where I stored all this evidence, fearing for my safety. Chanci would criticize my body, prompting me to lose 24 pounds, which nearly led me to an eating disorder. Then, she would turn around and insult my appearance again, leaving me feeling hopeless.
Even after I managed to leave, Chanci continued to reach out, using words that she knew would trigger painful memories. To this day, I can still hear those phrases echoing in my mind. I was ultimately diagnosed with PTSD and have undergone domestic violence counseling, group therapy, and EMDR therapy, while also taking antidepressants. This brief account barely scratches the surface of my life with Chanci; I could share countless stories about my struggles during those five years and the aftermath.
After changing my phone number, she somehow obtained my work contact information. I eventually switched jobs, cutting off her access to me. In May, while visiting, I unexpectedly encountered Chanci. She called out to me, asking why I didn’t hug her, acting as if nothing had ever happened between us. The painful part is that I still found myself longing for her embrace.
Now, I feel like I’m back at square one, trying to move past the memories of our relationship. I often wonder if I’ll ever fully recover from the trauma.
Resources for Further Reading
If you want to learn more about recognizing sociopathic behaviors in relationships, consider reading this insightful post on psychopathy. Also, for more information on navigating relationships with sociopaths, check out this resource. If you’re looking for guidance on what to avoid when dealing with toxic individuals, Out of the Fog is an excellent reference.
Be cautious of individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, who can manipulate and exploit others emotionally and financially. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and her LinkedIn profile.