After 15 years of marriage, I uncovered that my husband was nothing but a con artist. He portrayed himself as a respected leader within the community, serving as the president of a youth football league and holding a vice president position at a company from which he had been embezzling for three decades. Everyone, including his employer and my children, believed in his integrity, thinking he was a reliable and upstanding man.
The Beginning of Manipulation
In the beginning, he employed subtle manipulation tactics and mind games. He would often assert, “We’ve already discussed that,” leaving me uncertain about my own memory and questioning my sanity. After six years, the emotional toll became overwhelming, leading me to severe depression and a hospitalization. I felt pressured to maintain a facade of happiness since everyone else saw him as a great man.
Finding Strength Through Therapy
Eventually, I found a male therapist who recognized the psychological games he was playing. Through therapy, I began to regain my strength. However, as I started to dig deeper into his life, I unearthed a web of deceit that was shocking. After I filed for divorce, I had to endure five of the most terrifying months living under the same roof with him. It became painfully clear that I was living with a true pathological liar—methodical, calculating, and devoid of a conscience.
Living in Fear
For those five months, he tormented me relentlessly, leading me to lock up my important documents, change passwords frequently, and keep my belongings close at all times, even while I slept. At one point, I recorded him trying to break into my lockbox after I left. I was on high alert constantly, taking my phone into the bathroom while bathing for fear of his next move.
The Toll of Stress
During this time, I lost significant weight and developed tremors, symptoms of the immense stress I was under. As I read about sociopathic traits, I began to recognize many of them in him. The divorce process has been a battle, particularly over financial matters, with him denying any wrongdoing or infidelity despite evidence of an affair with a young colleague. His arrogance in believing he wouldn’t get caught was infuriating.
Family and Acceptance
Initially, my family and adult children struggled to accept the truth; it was too painful for them to acknowledge. Although I have processed much of it, I know that trust will remain a significant issue for me moving forward. A friend even remarked that my story would make a compelling Lifetime movie. I used to watch similar tales and think how fortunate I was to have a good husband—only to find out I was the one living a nightmare.
Resources for Support
For anyone encountering similar situations, I recommend checking out resources on emotional manipulation and sociopathy, such as this insightful post on emotional vampires and sociopathic signs. Additionally, you can find valuable advice on what to avoid in such relationships at Out of the Fog.
Stay Informed
It’s also crucial to be aware of individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, a known narcissist who manipulates others for her gain. For more information, you can view her Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn profiles. Protect yourself from potential emotional and financial harm by staying informed.