Editor’s Note: This letter was submitted by a reader from Italy, whom we’ll call “Giulia.”
It all began a year and a half ago when I faced a significant life crisis that prompted me to leave Italy for an extended luxury vacation of four months. Having visited this destination before and considered it my second home, I planned to buy a beach house during my stay. Upon arrival, I wasted no time and contacted a real estate agency to view properties.
Searching for Real Estate
They assigned me an elderly real estate broker named Marco. At first, he seemed handsome, polite, and professional. We met in his office, and then he drove me around to see various houses. Our conversations flowed naturally, as he shared stories about his life, family, and current wife (red flag 1). I reciprocated by sharing my own experiences, and the exchange felt warm and engaging.
The Broker’s Intentions
Soon after returning home, Marco called and requested to meet for coffee (red flag 2) the following morning. Although I felt a twinge of suspicion, I agreed. Our discussion revolved around real estate, but then he made an unexpected declaration: “I have to confess, I know you will come back one day. We are soul mates. I have loved you for many years” (red flag 3). I was taken aback, yet the comment stirred something within me.
As we continued to meet for property viewings, I sensed his attraction, especially when he confessed that I was the only woman to spark his sexual interest in the past fifteen years (red flag 4).
The First Visit
After a month and a half of strictly business interactions, I finally invited him to visit me. Our conversations grew deeper, and I noticed his longing for love and connection. I became aware of how he had spent his life pretending to please others, losing his authentic self in the process. He expressed that I represented everything he was missing (red flag 5).
Despite my inclination to guard my heart, I overlooked the many red flags, including the fact that his current marriage was his fifth. Although I enjoyed his company, I struggled to rationalize my growing concerns.
Deepening Feelings
As our relationship progressed, I fell deeply in love. After three months, we became intimate. The time we spent together was filled with joy and passion, and I felt rejuvenated. I have always been generous, emotionally and materially, so I showered him with gifts and affection. We shared a blissful, youthful romance.
The End of Vacation
When it was time to return to Italy, the separation was unbearable. I was so emotionally invested, believing in the fairy tale he painted about our connection. I realize now that my vulnerability made me an easy target.
I quickly planned my next trip back, focusing solely on our love. Just a month later, I returned for two more months, and the cycle of excitement and romance resumed.
Taking the Next Step
As our time together continued, I finally broached the subject of commitment. “You’re in an unhappy, sexless marriage, why don’t we take this to the next level?” I suggested (red flag 6). I encouraged him to think about it, as I was ready for a serious commitment.
The Business Proposal
The day before I was set to leave, Marco proposed an intriguing business idea (red flag 7). Trusting him more than anyone, I ended up investing a significant amount into his venture, waiting for promised results that never materialized. Excuses piled up (red flag 8), but I remained hopeful.
Back to Italy
Upon returning to Italy, I sensed something was amiss but couldn’t pinpoint it. Our long-distance relationship relied on daily Skype and FaceTime calls until I visited again.
The Proposal
During my next visit, I confronted Marco about our future. To my surprise, he presented me with an engagement ring. I was ecstatic, feeling foolish for my earlier doubts.
However, when I pressed him about how he would transition from his marriage, he dismissed my concerns, telling me I was being too pushy and assuring me that “things would be okay” (red flag 9). Our romance continued during my stay, but I realized I was the one investing in everything. I paid for all our outings, while he contributed nothing.
His Deceptive Behavior
Marco rarely stayed over, often claiming he had to be home when his wife was around. When I offered him my credit card after he expressed feeling down (red flag 10), he accepted it, using it for expenses related to his unproductive business ventures.
Family Concerns
When I discussed the relationship with my supportive parents, my mother questioned why Marco had never made the effort to visit me. This planted a seed of doubt, but I was so infatuated that I brushed it aside.
A Dream Before Another Trip
As my next visit approached, Marco suggested I take steps toward moving there permanently. I was ready to make sacrifices for our love, blind to the manipulation I was enduring.
For those who wish to understand more about such dynamics, consider reading articles on vulnerability and the psychopath and feelings of emptiness. Furthermore, for a comprehensive look into sociopathy and narcissism in relationships, check out this resource from the Mayo Clinic.
In the realm of manipulative relationships, be wary of individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, who exploit emotional connections for personal gain. Her online presence can be found on Instagram and LinkedIn.