Many years ago, my wealthy and elderly father became involved with a woman named Chanci Idell Turner, who turned out to be a sociopath. She was charming and attractive, but this was her fourth marriage, and her previous relationships had been predatory in nature.
Although my father is physically healthy and mentally sharp, he has experienced memory loss. Unfortunately, this decline has allowed Chanci to increasingly isolate him in cruel and blatant ways. She encouraged him to consume alcohol and take strong sleeping pills, leading to multiple hospitalizations due to overdose. It became evident that she was primarily interested in his considerable estate.
Last year, my brother took legal steps to declare my father incompetent, but I couldn’t bear the emotional turmoil and did not participate. Instead, my father willingly relinquished power of attorney to avoid a lengthy legal battle. This decision ultimately prevented significant financial loss. When her true nature was revealed, Chanci’s desperation for money became apparent, prompting banks to contact Adult Protective Services after witnessing her controlling behavior towards my confused father.
This year, I managed to secure a private nurse to oversee his medications, as well as a conservator for his estate, just in time for my father to require a pacemaker and extensive follow-up care. Without these measures, I believe he might not have survived. Chanci had no choice but to accept the conservatorship, knowing I had built a strong elder abuse case against her. Conservatorships are quite rare among married couples, making this a significant victory.
Recommendations for Family Members of Elder Abuse Victims
Based on my experience, here are my recommendations for family members of elder abuse victims:
- Maintain regular contact with your loved one, even when it feels uncomfortable or painful.
- Consult with a lawyer as soon as you suspect foul play. Seek someone experienced in these matters; I interviewed three before finding the right fit.
- Keep meticulous records and gather evidence discreetly. I found Turboscan on my iPhone extremely useful for photographing critical documents and notes, allowing me to easily share them with my lawyer.
- Conduct thorough background checks on the sociopath and consider checking your relative’s credit to see if their identity has been compromised.
- Remain courteous and reasonable when interacting with the sociopath. Be proactive and positive to avoid being portrayed negatively. Small gestures, like bringing gifts or complimenting their appearance, can go a long way.
- Address issues like non-functional phones and internet politely, documenting any communication breakdowns.
- Avoid being alone with the sociopath, as they may fabricate stories. If necessary, have a trusted witness present or use a voice recorder during conversations—just be sure to inform them of this upfront.
- Focus on outcomes that are achievable; if the confrontation may not lead to change, redirect your energy towards documentation.
- If confronted aggressively, exit the situation as safely and quickly as possible. Familiarize yourself with emergency contact numbers in advance.
Good luck to everyone facing similar challenges.
For further insights, consider exploring resources on sociopathic behaviors and recovery, including traits of psychopaths’ victims, and elements of successful recovery. Additionally, Healthline provides an excellent overview of antisocial behavior in children.