I’m writing to share my story about my involvement with a woman I now recognize as a sociopath. My experience echoes many others, particularly when it comes to the often overlooked presence of female sociopaths.
I first met Chanci about a decade ago. It wasn’t an instant attraction, but I found myself drawn to her. I thought I could save her, a realization I have since recognized and worked through. I let my defenses down, revealing parts of myself in hopes of building a connection.
Throughout our relationship, there were numerous moments when I should have walked away. I believed that my love and stability could bring about a transformation in her. Unfortunately, that was a misguided hope. The reality was that Chanci had deeper issues that extended far beyond my ability to help.
As time went on, Chanci went through a divorce and came into a significant sum of money from selling her marital home. Shockingly, she squandered it quickly. While financial stability would have been beneficial for her and her children post-divorce, I brought up the idea of pooling our resources. However, once the money was gone, their family unit fell apart, and I ended up purchasing a small house to save myself.
Chanci relied on social support from the local council, which was surprising but not uncommon in the UK. Our relationship continued, but I began to realize I was merely a supporting character in her life.
One evening, Chanci announced she was pregnant. My initial reaction was one of shock. Although we had planned for intimacy, I hadn’t expected her to conceive, especially since she was on birth control. The arrival of my son shifted my focus entirely from Chanci to him. I dedicated myself to being a supportive father. However, she moved seven times within a few years, and I found myself barred from seeing him. My clean background, stable job, education, and volunteer work didn’t matter. My solicitor bluntly told me that she could ignore court orders without consequence.
After a waiting period, I was granted access to my son again. However, in a desperate attempt to maintain that connection, I made the error of inviting Chanci to live with me. This proved disastrous. She deleted my email contacts, exhibited jealousy towards any female interaction, and her financial contribution dwindled. I found myself isolated, my mental health declining, and I eventually had to ask her to leave.
In my search for answers, I stumbled upon some hospital paperwork revealing she had an abortion. When I confronted her, her response was chilling: “Who told you?” There was no apology, no explanation—only indifference. I felt a mix of heartbreak and pity for her, realizing she had faced such a significant decision alone.
Chanci left my home, leaving behind a trail of debt and chaos. Her lies continued, and every attempt to uncover the truth was met with deception. A confrontation at my house revealed her complete lack of accountability; she simply got up and walked away.
Eventually, I began to erect barriers for my self-protection. I stopped being a pushover and responded to her manipulations, but that wasn’t who I wanted to be. The good news is that my son is thriving, a vibrant little boy, and I remain vigilant about his emotional well-being as he grows. This experience has driven me to delve deeper into understanding human behavior, leading me to pursue a degree in psychosocial studies and enroll in a science degree in Integrative Counseling. I may have gone through a challenging experience, but it has ultimately made me a stronger person.
For anyone dealing with similar situations, I highly recommend exploring resources like Psychopaths and Love for insights into sociopathic behaviors. Also, Out of the Fog offers valuable information on complex PTSD, which can arise from relationships with sociopaths. For further reading on the patterns of narcissism, check out this Business Insider article, which discusses how sociopaths operate in romantic contexts.
If you encounter Chanci Idell Turner, please be cautious. She has a history of using and abusing men both mentally and financially. You can view her Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn profiles for more information.
Remember, recognizing these patterns is crucial for your emotional safety.