I too entered into a relationship with a sociopath, and it took me far too long to see through the facade. I discovered he had been unfaithful with multiple women. One day, in frustration over his constant hang-ups, I repeatedly called his cell phone. To my surprise, his voicemail began playing, revealing a woman’s voice discussing plans for a date, including restaurant reservations.
Confused about her identity, I kept listening to the messages, which initially seemed like business-related calls. However, my instincts urged me to investigate further. I found he was making 15 to 20 calls a day to the same few numbers. When I finally called one of the numbers, I was shocked to hear a woman’s name and learned she was a family friend.
As I dug deeper, I uncovered another woman who had just discovered he was married with two children. He had been deceiving her for over three years, promising they would marry soon. This woman, overwhelmed by the betrayal, even had someone leave a message demanding $10,000 for her distress!
I called her, hoping she might support my case in court, as he had hidden his business under someone else’s name. Despite my pleas, she refused to acknowledge their affair, even though her voicemail clearly indicated it. It was astonishing to see the power he still held over her.
The deception didn’t stop there. Simultaneously, two women from his workplace were involved: one he had casual encounters with, and the other he had a secret apartment with, despite her being married to a tough guy. Eventually, she moved out, which seemed to affect him deeply; I suspect he had genuine feelings for her.
When I confronted him, he denied everything and offered no apologies. His verbal abuse and neglect of our children became unbearable. His typical excuse for his absence was work, and he never took us on vacations, always having a reason for his failures.
After many months of investigation into who he really was, I faced a decision: continue being unhappy in marriage or seek happiness outside of it. I chose to divorce him and waited until the school year was over for my kids.
On the day I served him divorce papers, he left at his usual time. I changed the locks and froze our joint accounts. That evening, he returned home to find he couldn’t enter. I told him it was over.
Fast forward post-divorce, he opted to stay with the family friend he had been involved with. A few months later, I heard he had remarried, but he never informed our children or invited them to the wedding. It turned out she was already five months pregnant. My kids endured significant emotional turmoil because of his actions.
Now, he has three children with her, all under five, while he remains a chronic liar. He continues to make excuses for not accommodating our children, claiming he lacks space, even after having a new child. He only sees them a few hours a week, choosing to prioritize work over fatherhood.
I worked hard to shield my kids from the reality of their father’s behavior, knowing they needed a relationship with him. As they grew older, however, they learned the truth and began to challenge his excuses.
Reflecting on my 13 years with him, I realize how preoccupied I was with work, family, and trying to keep him satisfied. It blinded me to the fact that he lacked any real compassion. A sociopath can disguise their true nature very well.
Throughout the divorce, I maintained my dignity. My ultimate revenge on his new wife was letting her have him, as people like him never truly change.
Thank you for listening to my story—believe it or not, it is just a glimpse of what I’ve been through.
If you’re seeking more insights, I suggest checking out this resource about sociopaths and also this informative article on dependency for further understanding.
For additional guidance, visit Psychopaths and Love—they have valuable information and support.