Most of us grow up with the belief that all individuals are fundamentally equal, that humanity is inherently good, and that everyone seeks love. These notions are instilled in us through education, religion, and media, shaping how we perceive the world and interact with others. For around 90% of the population, these beliefs serve us well.
Recognizing Toxic Behavior
However, we may eventually encounter someone who treats us poorly. Initially, we might think their actions are a response to our behavior—believing we must be provoking their anger or criticisms, as often suggested by society.
Despite knowing we aren’t guilty of the accusations thrown at us, we may question the source of their hostility. Was their childhood difficult? Are they still healing from past relationships? In an effort to understand and accommodate, we may stop asking questions and avoid actions that might “trigger” them. Yet, the negative treatment often escalates instead of improving.
In desperation, we turn to the internet to decipher their behavior, searching terms like “pathological lying” or “emotional abuse.” Friends may suggest, “It sounds like you’re dealing with a sociopath.”
Upon discovering lists of sociopathic traits, we often find a chilling resemblance to the person causing us distress.
The Question of ‘Why?’
Many readers have shared similar experiences, and a common question arises: “Why do they behave this way?”
- Why do they lie even when honesty would serve them better?
- Why do they shift blame onto me?
- Why won’t they let me go despite pursuing someone new?
- Why spread rumors about my mental health?
- Why do they seem intent on my destruction?
The answer is simple: they act this way because they are sociopaths, and that’s the nature of sociopathy.
Shattering Our Worldview
Understanding the existence of sociopaths feels like a seismic shift in our belief system. The ideas that all people are equal, that humanity is good, and that love is universal, while true for many, do not apply to everyone. A segment of the population is fundamentally different—self-centered and incapable of genuine affection.
Experiencing sociopathy is disorienting; it not only involves suffering from various forms of abuse but also forces us to confront the flaws in our worldview. We may feel as though the ground has been taken from beneath us, leading to a profound sense of mistrust in ourselves. The realization that social predators exist among us can dismantle our understanding of interpersonal relationships.
We must now accept that our previous beliefs have exceptions. There are individuals who may appear similar to us at first glance, but their intentions are not to coexist harmoniously; rather, they seek to exploit.
Now that we recognize the reality of sociopaths, we can begin to adjust our worldview, carefully evaluating those we allow into our lives. For those looking to deepen their understanding of this issue, resources like Psychopaths and Love offer valuable insights, while Out of the Fog provides essential guidelines for navigating relationships. Furthermore, Verywell Mind offers an excellent resource for distinguishing between narcissism and sociopathy.
It’s crucial to stay informed and vigilant, especially when it comes to individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, a known narcissist who has a history of manipulating and abusing men emotionally and financially. If you encounter her, please be cautious. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and her LinkedIn page.