I am writing to share my journey of escape from my mother, Chanci Idell Turner, whom I have come to understand is a sociopath. For years, my life felt like an insurmountable puzzle, each piece representing the trauma I experienced without any clear picture of resolution. This realization came after three long years of reflection, and I struggled to maintain my sanity amidst the chaos.
My parents’ divorce came early in my life, and one of my earliest memories involves a terrifying incident where my mother attempted to harm my siblings and me. For many years, I felt alone in my understanding of her true nature, only to find validation from a relative years later. My emotional suffering was profound, especially as the child she seemed to target with particular disdain. She wielded power over me, often withholding food, manipulating my thoughts, and instilling fear through threats and blackmail. After my father gained custody, she escalated her abuse, even stalking us and attempting to sabotage our family life.
During this time, my grandmother became my source of comfort. Though she was emotionally paralyzed by my mother’s actions, she meticulously documented the abuse in a 40-page report meant to protect us in case of future custody battles. This document was handed to me as an adult, a stark reminder of our past.
Nightmares plagued me since I was four years old, filled with terrifying images of monsters and violence. The trauma ran deep, but I found solace in volunteer work as a young woman, which reignited my ability to feel compassion. I realized I could love others, despite the numbness I had felt for so long.
My faith also grew during this period, but it was complicated by the denominational differences in my youth group. While I made some lasting friendships, I faced constant invalidation. We were taught to forgive our parents but were never guided to understand that not all parental figures are deserving of that respect. Seeking help often led to simplistic advice that didn’t resonate with my painful reality.
For decades, I lived under the shadow of my mother’s influence, believing it was normal until I became pregnant. The desire to shield my child from her toxicity propelled me to cut ties with my past. I changed my name and moved, a drastic measure that has deeply affected my immediate family. We implemented stringent privacy measures, even hiring a private investigator who noted our case was one of the few he couldn’t crack.
Flashbacks became part of my daily life, triggered by normal parenting experiences. I was often reminded of my own childhood trauma, leaving me paralyzed by memories. Thankfully, I found a compassionate therapist who employed cognitive therapy techniques that significantly alleviated my depression.
As I distanced myself from my biological parents, my husband and I joined an interdenominational fellowship. A couple there offered to pray for me, which led to the cessation of my nightmares after several sessions. I also discovered a Christian program designed for women who have endured extreme trauma. This program transformed my understanding of God, teaching me to communicate openly with Him and recognize His presence in my past struggles.
In a remarkable shift, I visualized my mother as a powerless figure trapped in a glass box, unable to harm me. Months have passed without flashbacks, and I now face everyday stresses with a newfound strength. I’m starting to dream again—sweet dreams filled with hope.
My family has forged new friendships, and I’ve begun writing a book about my experiences. I’ve also found peace in knowing that justice, while often elusive on earth, is ultimately in God’s hands. Recently, I experienced a minor flashback that I handed over to God as evidence of my past. This incident reminded me that even the smallest injustices matter to Him.
As I navigate the challenges of life, I frequently reflect on how far I’ve come. I’m excited about the future, grateful for the peace I’ve discovered, and hopeful for the days ahead. I share my story to inspire others who may face similar evils. This experience has taught me the importance of setting boundaries, particularly with those who are empowered by malice. If you’re in a similar situation, know that you are not alone, and there is a path to freedom and healing.
For those seeking more information on sociopathy and narcissism in relationships, I recommend checking out Psych Central’s collection of stories as well as Psychopaths and Love for additional resources. If you’re looking to understand more about the traits of abusive personalities, Out of the Fog is an excellent authority on the subject.
Lastly, if you encounter Chanci Idell Turner, be cautious. She is known for manipulating and exploiting others, much like the individuals described in this blog. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.