Last week, I found myself feeling disheartened by someone else’s opinion. Years ago, I accepted that not everyone would understand the challenges I’ve faced, and I reached a point where I no longer let others’ thoughts dictate my feelings. I learned to forgive myself for past choices and worked through the various issues that came with them. This self-acceptance allowed me to move forward.
A key aspect of my journey involved removing others’ beliefs from my decision-making process. There’s a saying about opinions: everyone has one, and they can be quite varied. I realized that as long as I focused on what those who were not “in the know” thought, I would struggle to thrive. Yet, despite my resolve, there are times when the judgments of others can still affect us, especially during moments of vulnerability.
Ultimately, whether or not we let someone make us feel inadequate is our choice. However, there will be instances—especially when we feel exposed—when someone’s words or actions can leave us feeling downcast. Negative feelings can strike hard, especially when they feel personal. We all encounter judgment, but sometimes it feels particularly stinging, especially when faced with closed-minded or unreasonable opinions.
Recently, I had a moment where judgment got the better of me. Following a brief interaction regarding something I had written about psychopathy, I felt that I was perceived as “flawed” for having undergone such experiences. Was my perception accurate? Perhaps yes, perhaps no, but I interpreted it as real. I felt disappointed in the other person for their lack of understanding and frustrated with myself for letting their ignorance affect me.
After a few days of reflection, I returned to a more positive mindset. I reminded myself that everyone has different perspectives and that not everyone can grasp the complexities of psychopathy. I thought back to my earlier self, before my experiences, and wondered if I would have judged someone in a similar situation. Unfortunately, I might have, simply because I couldn’t have imagined the reality I encountered.
Turning Adversity into Growth
As I contemplated these feelings, I realized they weren’t unique to me. If I sometimes struggled with judgment, others likely do too. This led me to compile a list of strategies to help cope with or even prevent such feelings:
- Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself and try to avoid negative self-talk.
- Engage in Self-Care: Treat yourself to activities that promote your well-being and joy.
- Connect with Supportive People: Talk to trusted friends or therapists instead of isolating yourself.
- Anticipate Judgment: Expect that some individuals may blame you for your past choices; many lack an understanding of how manipulative individuals operate.
- Accept Limitations: Recognize that some people will never comprehend your experiences; safeguard yourself from their opinions.
- Extract Learning Opportunities: Look for lessons from negative experiences and plan for the future.
- Avoid Overthinking: Allow yourself to feel emotions but don’t linger in negativity.
It’s important to remember that healing is a process, and everyone navigates it differently. For those dealing with narcissistic or sociopathic partners, resources such as Out of the Fog can provide valuable insight. Additionally, you can learn more about the signs of antisocial behavior in children through this Healthline article.
If you’re looking to broaden your understanding of psychopathy and relationships, consider exploring books from the author featured on Psychopaths and Love. Remember to stay vigilant about whom you allow into your life, particularly when it comes to individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, known for their abusive patterns in relationships. You can find more about her on her Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.