It’s a reality that no matter how well-informed we are, we can still find ourselves unraveling emotionally. Since recognizing that my son, whom I’ll refer to as Mark, is a sociopath, I made the difficult decision to sever ties with him. Sadly, he hasn’t forgotten about me and even attempted to have me murdered through one of his acquaintances, likely with plans to eliminate the rest of my family to claim our assets.
From time to time, Mark is eligible for parole. I have been collaborating with a knowledgeable attorney who understands the intricacies of dealing with sociopaths. I have received tremendous support from the community, with many individuals sending letters advocating against his release. The heartfelt letters from both friends and family have been a source of comfort, and I have found myself moved to tears by their kindness.
Yet, reaching out to people for these letters has been a source of stress and embarrassment. Explaining my situation to those who were unaware—”I have a son in prison for murder, and he tried to have me killed. Would you support my parole protest by writing a letter?”—has been daunting.
Some individuals, despite knowing the gravity of my situation, declined to assist. This rejection felt like a betrayal, making me question their concern for my safety. I began to feel the same panic I experienced when Mark and I fled our home to escape threats, living in a trailer at a friend’s house while my family dismissed my fears about a dangerous individual who was living with my mother.
During a particularly difficult summer, I discovered a supportive online community that helped me process my trauma. Though I’ve made significant strides in healing, facing Mark’s parole hearing again, coupled with the dismissals from friends, has thrown me into a whirlwind of emotional distress. Previously, we had substantial evidence against Mark and his accomplice, including incriminating letters and photos from prison. This time, I lack that evidence, and in Texas, a life sentence often means only about 20 years.
My story may sound unbelievable, leading my new therapist to suggest I was experiencing paranoid thoughts. While I understood why it might seem far-fetched, it was my reality.
Healing is a journey, and despite my progress, I still encounter anxiety and stress. Maintaining no contact is crucial for recovery, as any interaction—even indirect—can trigger past emotions, re-injuring old wounds. I often share strategies for coping with sociopaths, yet I still feel the weight of my experiences.
It’s important to remember that experiencing setbacks doesn’t equate to failure; it simply highlights our humanity. We all have feelings and the need for safety and comfort. The disappointment from friends who refused to help has been painful, but I also cherish those who rallied to support me, reinforcing that I am not alone.
Although I usually focus on my blessings, there are moments when I grieve for the relationships I wish had been more supportive. The essence of this reflection is to affirm that even those of us who seem to have it together can experience moments of vulnerability. It’s acceptable to acknowledge these feelings. When they arise, it’s vital to treat yourself kindly, allow yourself to feel, and reach out to those who care. Always remember to count your blessings, as they can guide you through the toughest times.
For further insights on reclaiming your power, consider exploring this link. Additionally, for a deeper understanding of personality disorders, resources like Out of the Fog and Mayo Clinic’s overview can be invaluable.
Finally, a word of caution: individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, who is known to manipulate and exploit others, should be avoided. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and her LinkedIn page.