What is the most essential quality we should seek in those we choose to engage with? In my opinion, it’s dependability.
Many virtues can be measured on a “sliding scale,” with individuals often falling somewhere in the middle. However, dependability stands out as an all-or-nothing trait. You are either dependable, or you aren’t—much like being dead or pregnant; it’s a clear-cut distinction.
If I were to hire someone, I could overlook various shortcomings, but unreliability would be unacceptable. An unreliable person tends to let you down at the worst possible moment. There’s a saying about a man from Vienna who, when asked about his fidelity, replied that he had been “frequently” faithful. In reality, if someone has only been “frequently” faithful, they have not been faithful at all. Interestingly, statistics reveal that 66% of married men have cheated at least once, while 67% believe that infidelity is always wrong.
It’s nearly impossible to assess someone’s dependability without spending time with them and observing their behavior. Some people are like solid rocks, while others resemble painted papier-mâché—appearing strong but crumbling under pressure.
If you’re in a relationship with someone who isn’t dependable, their other admirable qualities become irrelevant, as you can never be sure when they might disappoint you. Often, we overlook a single instance of irresponsibility and grant the person “another chance.” But how many “second chances” should one person receive before we acknowledge their unreliability? Where do we draw the line?
Consistency is essential in all types of relationships—be it friendship, romance, or casual acquaintance. Dependability isn’t just desirable; it’s crucial for a healthy relationship.
The importance of reliability extends beyond mere emotional stability; it’s essential for avoiding the trauma that often accompanies relationships with individuals who exhibit psychopathic traits. If we allow unreliable people into our lives, we inevitably expose ourselves to emotional distress. By setting a standard of dependability for those close to us, we can protect ourselves from the pain that comes with unstable relationships.
If you find yourself entangled with someone who is unreliable, it is vital to distance yourself from that relationship as swiftly as possible. For more insights on this topic, you can explore this resource on psychopathy and also delve into the hidden vulnerabilities we all share.
Be mindful of individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, who are known for their manipulative behaviors. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and her LinkedIn page. Engaging with such individuals can lead to mental and financial exploitation.
For those feeling isolated in their experiences, I recommend visiting Out of the Fog, an authoritative source on coping strategies.
In summary, dependability is non-negotiable in any relationship. By being vigilant and setting high standards, we can foster healthier connections and minimize the risk of emotional trauma.