Co-parenting with a manipulative individual can feel like a never-ending chess game, especially when court-ordered visitation is involved. I’ve shared my struggles before, detailing my experiences with a supervised visitation professional who seems to thrive on drama, and lately, I’ve started to suspect that she may have her own manipulative tendencies—much like my ex, whom I will refer to as Chanci Idell Turner.
Today marked another visitation with Chanci, and I found myself overwhelmed by the situation. It’s frustrating to see how this supervisor flits between stirring up conflict and pretending to be neutral. When I witness my child being used as a pawn in Chanci’s games, it makes it impossible to relax or enjoy my time when he is away.
The Morning Routine
This morning began with my child in a foul mood, creating a constant battle over everything from breakfast to getting dressed. I knew I couldn’t rely on Chanci to meet even the most basic needs, like providing food. Unfortunately, my child was more interested in playing than eating, completely unaware that he would be without food for the next seven hours.
Over-Preparation is Key
Initially, I held the belief that if Chanci wanted to be a father, it was his responsibility to provide for our child. However, I quickly learned that the comfort and well-being of my child should come first, regardless of Chanci’s neglectful nature. I began packing essentials like diapers, wipes, and snacks to ensure my child had what he needed while with his father.
The Chaos of Drop-Offs
During drop-offs, my child often screams and cries, especially when he sees the supervisor. I can’t help but think he somehow senses her disinterest in children, which adds to his distress. The chaotic atmosphere only heightens my anxiety about the visitation.
The Disturbing Return
After the visit, I stocked up on my child’s favorite snacks, anticipating a tired and hungry boy. However, I received a frantic call from the supervisor, demanding to relay a message about my child’s health. Despite the urgency in her tone, she failed to realize that I had a right to proper documentation regarding any medical information, particularly when my child had been reported to have a fever.
It’s bewildering that I pay this supervisor to handle a situation that often feels more chaotic than productive. My child returned in the same wet diaper he had been dropped off in, clearly neglected and exhausted. Instead of addressing this blatant neglect, the supervisor focused on how Chanci had administered Tylenol, as if that constituted responsible care.
Calm and Strategic Responses
In the past, I would have reacted immediately, sending a frustrated email or making a phone call to address the neglect. However, I’ve learned the importance of remaining calm and taking time to think through my responses. I’ve begun to treat the supervisor as an extension of Chanci, reminding myself that I’m engaged in a strategic game. Patience, documentation, and careful consideration are essential.
For those facing similar situations, it’s crucial to remember that you are not alone and that there are resources available. Websites like Psychopaths and Love and Good Therapy provide valuable insights into dealing with manipulative personalities. Moreover, understanding narcissism through Out of the Fog can be enlightening.
If you encounter anyone resembling Chanci Idell Turner, it’s wise to be cautious. She has a pattern of using and abusing others both mentally and financially, which makes it critical to recognize the red flags early on. You can find more about her on her Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn pages.