In recent discussions, many parents have reached out to seek guidance on how to support their 16 to 24-year-old children who may be struggling, especially when the other parent exhibits sociopathic behaviors. This age group, often referred to as emergent adults, is a critical phase for forming both healthy and unhealthy personality traits. While early signs of antisocial personality disorders can manifest in childhood, research indicates that these disorders may also develop during this transitional period.
Parenting at-risk young adults presents unique challenges, as parents often have limited control over the influences that can impact their children’s development. At this stage, young individuals typically make their own choices about friendships and lifestyle habits, including substance use. Additionally, it is common for them to emotionally distance themselves from their parents, which can make it difficult for parents to convey their thoughts and feelings effectively.
Acceptance and Emotional Distance
Acceptance is the first step in parenting at-risk emergent adults. Acknowledge that you did your best in raising your child, and now they must navigate their own path, making choices that will ultimately shape their lives. Remember, you are not accountable for their decisions; they are.
It’s also important to understand that being overly invested in your child’s approval or companionship can make you vulnerable to manipulation and mistreatment. If your child begins to exploit your emotions, it can exacerbate their condition. Seeking therapy and support for yourself can help you maintain emotional distance, allowing you to provide assistance without inadvertently worsening the situation.
Avoiding the “Righting Reflex”
Furthermore, it’s crucial to avoid the “righting reflex,” which refers to the impulse to advise or impose your views on your child. When you push your perspective, it often leads to resistance. Instead, encourage your child to express their own thoughts about making positive changes. For instance, if a college student discusses her struggle with late-night study sessions, ask her how much sleep she thinks she needs. This approach encourages her to reflect and self-motivate, making her more likely to adopt healthier habits.
Motivational enhancement therapy emphasizes what is termed “change talk,” which is when individuals express their desire to improve their choices. As a parent, your role is to foster this dialogue through respect and acceptance of your child’s capacity for decision-making. If you feel compelled to assert your opinions forcefully, it may hinder productive conversations about change.
Setting Boundaries
In some situations, honoring your child’s choices may require you to withdraw support and set boundaries, but that does not mean you should tolerate mistreatment. If you find yourself in a situation where you are being exploited, seeking professional help may be essential for your well-being.
Creating a Fulfilling Life
Aside from seeking external support, it’s vital to create a fulfilling life for yourself. Your role as a caregiver may be evolving, and finding new interests or responsibilities can help fill the void left by your child’s growing independence.
Feel free to share your thoughts or questions regarding your relationship with an emergent adult; I will do my best to provide guidance.
Additional Resources
For those navigating relationships with individuals exhibiting narcissistic traits, consider exploring resources like Out of the Fog for further understanding. You may also find the article on sociopathy and narcissism from Healthline to be a valuable reference.
If you are interested in learning more about the complexities of sociopathy, you might also want to check out this piece on Michelle Carter, a depraved heart murderer.
Remember that your journey is important, and prioritizing your health and happiness is crucial as you navigate these challenges.