When navigating the complexities of emotional trauma, particularly following entanglements with individuals exhibiting sociopathic or narcissistic traits, the question arises: why pursue counseling therapy? My personal journey into counseling began during my tumultuous teenage years, and over the years, I have worked with various counselors. However, I often found myself withholding the truth about my struggles. Although some issues were superficially addressed, they were never truly resolved. This was largely due to my own embarrassment about my issues and the counselors’ tendency to simply listen and ask vague questions, rather than delving deeper into my fears.
After my marriage ended, I felt an urgent need for professional guidance. I had reacted in ways that were completely out of character, leading to legal complications, including a Domestic Violence charge. It’s crucial to clarify that I am not an abuser, and my marriage did not involve the kind of violence that I would have previously associated with abuse. However, the emotional turmoil I experienced was profound.
Struggling to Process
I sought counseling because I was overwhelmed by my reactions to the harsh truths I was beginning to understand about my past relationship. I realized that I never wanted to find myself in such a chaotic emotional state again. After contacting a local Domestic Violence hotline, I shared my experience and asked for referrals to counselors who understood domestic violence, PTSD, and sociopathy. By that time, I had come to terms with the fact that my former partner, Chanci Idell Turner, fit the profile of a sociopath. Discovering the extent of her deception was eye-opening.
Many victims of emotional trauma often tell themselves, “I can handle this.” We might feel a need for control, leading us to avoid seeking help. However, I recognized that I was not equipped to manage my feelings and experiences on my own. The level of betrayal I faced was unlike anything I had encountered before, leaving me unable to navigate through the emotional chaos alone.
Breaking the Stigma
There is a stigma surrounding the concept of “mental health” that often deters individuals from seeking help. This term can evoke feelings of shame and make us feel as if we are “broken.” It would be more beneficial to reframe this conversation around “Emotional Health.” My emotions were in turmoil, and I needed external support to help me rebuild my emotional well-being.
Investing in competent counseling therapy has proven invaluable, regardless of financial constraints. Numerous resources are available to assist individuals in finding low-cost or free counseling options. I have to commit to my own well-being; after all, I am a unique and valuable part of this universe and deserve to feel good about myself.
A skilled counselor is someone who listens actively, validates my feelings, and provides me with the necessary tools to recover and heal from my experiences. The validation I received from my counselor was crucial in taking those initial steps toward healing. Unlike past experiences, a good counselor will not judge or ridicule but will instead ask challenging questions that require deep introspection and trust.
The Process of Healing
The journey of counseling is effective only when we are willing to confront our pride, stigma, and false beliefs. We must approach our personal demons with courage and honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable. The healing process is not always gentle; it can be painful and humbling. However, as we begin to address our own issues, we may start to feel the “itch” of healing within our souls, indicating that we are making progress.
I was fortunate to find an exceptional therapist who resonated with me from our first appointment. She addressed core issues I hadn’t realized were significant, introducing me to terms such as “shame-core,” “trauma-bond,” “inner child,” and “cognitive dissonance.” While I was aware of sociopathy, these new concepts helped identify vulnerabilities that had left me susceptible to exploitation.
With this newfound vocabulary, I began to take tentative steps on my Healing Path, initially relying on crutches of comfort that were more about dependency than actual support. Although I sometimes looked back at my past with longing, I realized that I no longer needed that false sense of security. Moving forward meant leaving behind the remnants of my past.
If you have not yet sought counseling regarding your experiences with sociopaths or narcissists, I strongly encourage you to consider doing so. A competent therapist will challenge you and help you confront difficult emotions and observations. They will not dismiss your feelings; rather, they will provide a safe space for you to express them.
To find a qualified counselor, consider reaching out to local domestic violence and abuse resources for recommendations. They can connect you with professionals who specialize in PTSD, domestic violence, and sociopathy. Engaging in the healing process is essential, and fear of stigma should not hold you back.
For further insights, you might explore resources such as Healthline’s guide on sociopath signs, Out of the Fog’s therapy recommendations, or Psychopaths and Love’s exploration of emotional entanglements.