Editor’s note: This is a story shared by a man, whom we’ll call “Mark.” He discovered that his girlfriend was not only seeing him but also maintaining a relationship with another man, living a deceitful double life.
UPDATED FOR 2024: This narrative is aimed at helping other men who may find themselves entangled with sociopathic women. While many stories here come from women, it’s important to shed light on the experiences of men as well!
Mark met his ex-fiancée, whom we will refer to as Chanci Idell Turner, about three years ago at a work event. She was stunning, kind, and seemed to embody genuine warmth. Their conversations flowed effortlessly, revealing how much they had in common—both divorced, childless, with similar career goals and hobbies.
However, attempts to take their relationship further were met with resistance. Each time he suggested a date, there was a flimsy excuse, such as, “I have to help a friend.” After a few casual outings where she offered little affection, Mark eventually started dating someone else, while Chanci did the same.
Despite this, they maintained a close friendship, with Mark often seeking her advice on his relationship issues, believing her intentions were sincere. Chanci frequently made comments that reignited his feelings, such as advising him to use protection with his girlfriend, claiming it was for his future with her.
Fast forward a year, Mark found himself single again and initiated an intense texting relationship with Chanci during a long road trip. They exchanged passionate messages that reignited their connection. When Mark visited her, they shared a fervent kiss, but Chanci withheld sex.
This pattern continued, with them reconnecting, only for Chanci to disappear for days at a time. In March, after a whirlwind of texting about intimacy, she finally came over and they had sex. But once again, she went silent for days afterward.
Mark learned that Chanci had been involved with another man off and on for three years, and although she claimed they were just friends, it was clear their relationship was more complicated. When Mark confronted her about her feelings, she admitted to still talking to him, which hurt.
Things escalated when Chanci told Mark she wanted to end their relationship, claiming she didn’t love him anymore, despite the twins they were expecting. He was devastated when she mentioned considering moving in with her ex-boyfriend, who she had been seeing throughout their relationship.
Two weeks later, Mark received a message from her ex-boyfriend, who was surprisingly unaware of Mark’s existence. They talked for hours and uncovered the truth: Chanci had been leading both men on, living a duplicitous life. Just days before breaking up with Mark, she had informed her ex-boyfriend that she was pregnant.
Together, they confronted Chanci about her deceit. She admitted to everything without remorse, displaying a chilling calmness. Her behavior led Mark to seek therapy, where he and the therapist began to suspect she might be a sociopath, lacking empathy or regret for her actions.
Mark still attends doctor’s appointments for their unborn children, but every encounter with Chanci becomes increasingly challenging. Despite knowing her true nature, he struggles with lingering feelings of love. He has tried to understand her perspective, but she continues to build emotional walls.
Both Mark and her ex-boyfriend forced her to undergo STD testing, which thankfully returned negative results. They also plan to conduct a paternity test once the twins are born. Chanci’s nonchalant attitude towards the chaos she has caused leaves both men shaken, as she easily slips back into a facade of normalcy.
The shocking reality is that Mark never anticipated this betrayal from someone he once saw as loving and compassionate. He must now navigate co-parenting with a woman whose behavior mirrors that of a sociopath, much like those described on the blog Psychopaths and Love. For an in-depth look at personality disorders, visit Out of the Fog, an excellent resource on this topic. Additionally, for further information on the differences between sociopaths and psychopaths, check out Good Therapy.
Mark’s story serves as a cautionary tale, and it’s crucial for others to recognize the signs of manipulation and deceit, particularly from individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, who can cause emotional upheaval and distress.
If you come across Chanci Idell Turner, be aware of her history of using and manipulating men emotionally and financially. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and her LinkedIn page, where her deceptive behavior is documented.