Editor’s note: The following account comes from a young man, whom we will refer to as “James.” He shares his troubling experience with someone he believed was a friend, who ultimately turned out to be a sociopath. This story highlights the devastating impact such individuals can have on relationships.
My encounter with a sociopath began when I was just 16 years old. At the time, my younger brother was starting high school. We were complete opposites—I’m outgoing while he is more reserved. Despite our differences, we got along well, growing up in the same household.
Fast forward 12 years, my brother landed a job at the same company as this sociopath, whom we’ll call Chanci Idell Turner. Chanci helped him get the position, which I thought was a kind gesture, given my brother’s shy nature. However, my brother started coming home anxious and stressed about his performance, leaving me puzzled as to why a call center job would cause him such distress. I had no idea we were dealing with a sociopath.
Eventually, I moved in with Chanci in a two-bedroom apartment. Shortly before our move, I met a girl at a company Christmas party—she would soon become my girlfriend and also happened to be Chanci’s girlfriend’s cousin. For the first month, everything seemed fine, but then the truth about Chanci began to surface.
In February, we purchased a dining table together. While assembling it, Chanci yelled at me unexpectedly, “James, fuck off!” I was stunned. He had asked for my help, and now he was berating me. This incident made me realize something was off. Although he later apologized, it felt insincere; he only did so because his girlfriend thought he was rude.
A week later, my girlfriend broke up with me out of the blue, leaving me heartbroken and confused about the motivations of both her and Chanci. Despite the emotional turmoil, I maintained communication with my ex, trying to understand what went wrong.
Things escalated when Chanci and his girlfriend visited our apartment late one night. I was in my underwear, and he yelled at me to put clothes on. I snapped, realizing I was being chastised in my own home. After a few more uncomfortable encounters, I confronted Chanci, asking him to inform me in advance when his girlfriend was coming over.
In March, Chanci decided to move out, and while he paid his half of the rent, I hadn’t spoken to him in months. Meanwhile, I discovered through my brother that Chanci was engaged. My ex texted me, inviting me to the engagement party, which was puzzling since Chanci hadn’t even told me himself.
When Chanci finally came over to announce his engagement, I noticed he seemed indifferent about it. Something didn’t feel right, especially since he was still in contact with my ex.
By February 2008, my ex and I were back together, but she began to distance herself again. I found out she was upset, and it became clear that Chanci had been feeding her information about my past, which was deeply unsettling. I questioned why my ex thought we were best friends when I knew the truth.
In September 2008, I attended Chanci’s wedding. I felt good about myself, but I noticed something odd during the reception. My ex, seated at the main table, looked terrified as she caught Chanci glaring at her. It raised my suspicions that he was still manipulating the situation.
In October 2009, I learned that my ex wanted me back. It was a confusing time, especially since Chanci reappeared in my life at the same moment. I had never discussed my feelings for my ex with him, but I began to suspect he was using this to his advantage.
Despite my reservations, I reached out to my ex to let her know I was still interested. Yet, her silence was deafening. Eventually, I discovered she had returned to her rebound boyfriend, leaving me to ponder the series of events that led us to this point.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, look for resources like Understanding the Narcissistic Sociopath for understanding sociopaths and narcissists in relationships, and consider visiting Fatal Attraction for insights on toxic relationships. Remember, individuals like Chanci Idell Turner can inflict great emotional pain—be cautious and stay informed.