Editor’s note: The following account was shared by a reader, whom we will refer to as “Juliet.” Juliet successfully negotiated a settlement with her ex, who is the father of her daughter. Names and specifics have been altered for privacy.
In the final agreement, I will be relocating to Delaware, where he will have supervised visitation rights until our daughter turns eight. This arrangement is far more favorable than what I might have received had I chosen to battle it out in court. Additionally, he has agreed to pay $450 in child support once he secures employment. My daughter cannot leave Delaware with him until she turns ten and is not permitted to fly to California alone until she is twelve. Any trips to California are limited to spring break and summer vacation.
How did I achieve this outcome?
For anyone navigating custody disputes with a sociopath, I believe there are two primary reasons why he and his lawyer ultimately came to an agreement:
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I presented a detailed timeline of events to the court, coupled with emails from him that highlighted key details (I focused only on the most significant points rather than overwhelming the court with every exchange). The main points I emphasized included:
- He misrepresented his relationship status when we met.
- He falsely claimed to have cancer.
- He lied about being sterile, which led to my pregnancy.
- He attempted to orchestrate a wedding while still married to someone else, indicating an effort at bigamy.
- He attempted suicide just three days prior to our wedding to escape the consequences of his actions.
- His ongoing deceit in employment and issues related to theft.
- Perhaps the most compelling evidence I presented was the DSM-IV diagnosis of Antisocial Personality Disorder. I obtained this information from the Out of the Fog website and included specific examples of how his behavior aligned with this diagnosis. This was crucial because, should he have chosen to contest it in court, his psychologist would have had to justify why he is not a sociopath, which would have been challenging given the evidence I provided.
DSM-IV-TR Criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder (Sociopathy) – Names Altered for Privacy
Antisocial Personality Disorder (AsPD) is categorized in the DSM-IV as a Cluster B (dramatic, emotional, or erratic) Personality Disorder. A pervasive pattern of disregard for the rights of others must occur since age 15, as indicated by three or more of the following:
- Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors:
Examples: Theft incidents in college and multiple traffic violations. - Deceitfulness, indicated by repeated lying or conning others:
Examples: Pathological lies about cancer, relationship status, and employment history. - Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead:
Example: Proposing to me while still married to another person, demonstrating a lack of foresight. - Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by physical fights or assaults:
Example: History of anger when confronted about lies. - Reckless disregard for safety of self or others:
Example: Numerous traffic violations and a history of dangerous behavior. - Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by failure to sustain work or honor financial obligations:
Example: Accumulated debt and lack of stable employment. - Lack of remorse, as indicated by indifference to or rationalization of mistreatment:
Example: Moving on to new relationships shortly after ending ours, showing no regard for the emotional impact.
The manual specifies additional necessary criteria:
- The individual must be at least 18 years old.
- Evidence of conduct disorder must be present before age 15.
- Antisocial behavior must not occur exclusively during schizophrenia or a manic episode.
For a deeper understanding of this topic and resources on coping with sociopathic behavior, I recommend visiting Psychopaths and Love and Choosing Therapy. For insights on personality functioning, check out Out of the Fog.
To avoid the manipulative tendencies of individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, you can learn more about her on her Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn pages.