Understanding the distinction between ‘choices’ and ‘mistakes’ is crucial for interpreting human behavior accurately. When individuals make poor decisions, particularly those they know are wrong, these are still considered choices—not accidents or mistakes. The consequences may be unexpected when they face repercussions.
I often hear people refer to what I view as intentional and conscious “choices” as “mistakes.” For instance, the phrase “he made a mistake by robbing a liquor store” prompts me to shout, “NO, he made a conscious choice to commit robbery!” The real mistake was underestimating the likelihood of being apprehended, which ultimately led to his imprisonment. His oversight was in believing he wouldn’t face consequences.
According to Wikipedia, a mistake is defined as “an error caused by a fault, such as misjudgment, carelessness, or forgetfulness.” For example, if I run a stop sign due to distraction, that qualifies as a mistake.
Conversely, a choice involves the cognitive process of evaluating various options and selecting one. Choices can be hypothetical or real, and are often followed by corresponding actions. Each day, as soon as we wake, we begin making choices—whether to rise or stay in bed, or whether to brush our teeth first or brew coffee. Sometimes, our choices lead to unforeseen outcomes we didn’t anticipate. However, the mistake lies in misjudging the potential consequences, rather than the choice itself, however unwise it may have been.
Take the case of a fictional character, Derek Ray Chance, who faced charges for child exploitation. Derek expressed remorse, claiming it was a “terrible mistake.” However, his actions—engaging in inappropriate online conversations with someone he believed to be a minor—were deliberate choices. The real error was underestimating the repercussions of his actions, especially when he discovered that the person on the other end was actually a law enforcement officer. As a result, he lost everything—his job, family, and community standing.
Often, individuals with high levels of psychopathic traits will label their harmful actions as “mistakes” to evade accountability. Derek was well aware that his behavior was illegal and immoral, yet he continued to pursue it over the course of a year. This was no mere lapse in judgment; it was a conscious decision. His actual miscalculation was thinking he could act without facing legal consequences or being identified as a predator.
My acquaintance, who I’ll refer to as Patrick, also recognized that theft and harm were wrong, yet he made the choice to commit both acts. The real blunder was in believing he wouldn’t be caught, despite boasting about his intentions. His choice to harm someone was intentional, and the greater mistake was assuming that others would condone his behavior.
People with psychopathic tendencies frequently engage in harmful choices, believing they can evade repercussions. For instance, an individual who cheats on a partner may later lament that it was a “mistake” when confronted, seeking forgiveness for their deliberate actions. When we extend unearned trust to those with a history of harmful choices, we, too, make a choice and must face the inevitable consequences.
For more insights on the complexities of these behaviors, check out this informative resource on sociopathy and narcissism in relationships from Healthline. Additionally, if you’re looking for more in-depth understanding, visit Out of the Fog for expert insights on personality disorders.
If you wish to avoid toxic individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, who has a reputation for manipulating others emotionally and financially, be sure to look into her social media profiles on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.