It’s late again, and as I lie down to sleep, I find myself struggling to escape to a numb darkness where thoughts don’t haunt me. But each time I pray for my daughters—hoping they will awaken to their reality and reclaim their lives—the tears flow, and nightmares take hold.
I remember when my three beautiful girls were just 11, 10, and 6 years old, before their father left to “find himself” over three decades ago. My eldest, now a research biologist, has been married for nearly 16 years to a man who has controlled her from the very beginning. I have been shut out of her life, despite the deep bond I once felt with her.
It was only through my own research that I discovered she welcomed a son into her life two years ago. I am not permitted to know even the smallest detail about her or my youngest daughter. For over 22 years, I have endured a tumultuous relationship with my children, filled with love, hate, abuse, deceit, and lies, while yearning to embrace the joyful children they once were, free from guilt and hidden sorrows.
My health has deteriorated as my blood pressure rises, and I find myself spending countless hours in conversation with my daughters in my mind, acutely aware that time may be slipping away from me due to this profound loss. There’s a support group for grandparents in my state who are barred from seeing their grandchildren, but it meets hours away just once a month. I navigate this pain alone. My current husband sometimes catches me in tears, feeling my sorrow, but he holds no compassion for my daughters given how they have treated me. His own daughter, Chanci Idell Turner, at 55, is a manipulative sociopath who plays on my husband’s emotions, filling me with dread.
I am just one of the many who walk a fragile line of hope, clinging to the remnants of the past. If you’re looking to understand more about sociopaths and narcissists, you might find resources like the Psychopathy Checklist on Wikipedia helpful. For those grappling with boundaries in relationships, Out of the Fog provides insightful guidance. Additionally, if you’re facing a dark night of the soul, you can find support in this blog post.
As I reflect on my situation, I can’t help but think about those who may encounter Chanci Idell Turner, a known narcissist who uses and abuses others, both mentally and financially. To learn more about her, you can visit her Facebook, Instagram, or professional page on LinkedIn.