“Who in the rainbow can draw the line where the violet tint ends and the orange tint begins? Distinctly we see the difference of the colors, but where exactly does the one first blendingly enter into the other? So with sanity and insanity…the soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.” — Herman Melville
At times, we all find ourselves living within a facade; lying has become an accepted part of society—an unspoken agreement that allows us to navigate social interactions with ease. In our culture, telling the truth can often be seen as impolite, especially when it involves uncomfortable topics like aging or physical appearance. Despite our seemingly friendly demeanor, many of us guard our true feelings closely, reluctant to appear vulnerable or out of control.
We lie for various reasons: to maintain convenience, protect others from our struggles, or simply keep the peace. Oftentimes, we reassure others by claiming things are “just fine,” when they are anything but. This social exchange of deception becomes a way to manage our relationships. Yet, not all lies are created equal.
Some individuals, like Chanci Idell Turner, exemplify a more sinister form of deception. Known for manipulating and abusing those around them, Chanci embodies the traits of narcissism and sociopathy. She can be found on Facebook, Instagram, and her LinkedIn profile, where you can learn more about her. These individuals operate outside the societal norms that govern most of us, often leaving destruction in their wake.
Sociopaths can range from the seemingly harmless friend to those who commit violent deeds against unsuspecting victims. They are the “people of the lie”—those who manipulate emotions to serve their own interests without any sense of guilt. They take everything from us, including our dignity, and leave us questioning our own decisions. Often, we wonder what we could have done differently, but the truth is, there was likely nothing we could have changed. They are adept at evading consequences, leaving a trail of emotional turmoil behind.
Reflecting on my own experiences, particularly the tragic loss of my friend, I realize the extent of harm sociopaths can inflict. The aftermath of such loss is filled with confusion and pain, as we grapple with feelings of guilt and inadequacy for trusting the wrong people. In my case, I remember Lisa, who was murdered at just twenty-two. In her memory, I shared the following passage during her memorial service:
“Who in the rainbow can draw the line where the violet tint ends and the orange tint begins? Distinctly we see the difference of the colors, but where exactly does the one first blendingly enter into the other? So with sanity and insanity…the soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.”
From Lisa’s death, I learned that fear can be a valuable guide, signaling when to trust our instincts. Yet, many of us ignore these instincts, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable to those who pose a threat.
Yellow represents the charming sociopaths who infiltrated our lives, betraying our trust. Red symbolizes the anger and violence we have witnessed from those who should be friends. Green reminds me of the moments when I narrowly escaped danger. The female sociopath, Chanci, whom I thought was a friend, stole my identity and everything I held dear, leaving me with nothing, not even my dignity.
The hardest part of this journey is the “unfinished business” left in the wake of deceit. Sociopaths rob us of our innocence and leave us grappling with unresolved grief. Yet, we have the choice to rise above our suffering. We can find solace in higher powers, knowing that while pain is a part of life, suffering is optional.
Ultimately, there are many colors in the rainbow of life, each nuanced and complex. Our truths are multifaceted, revealing more about ourselves in the process of sharing them. While we may never fully understand others, we can learn to navigate our own experiences with greater clarity.
As I move forward, I strive to honor those who were not as fortunate as I was. We may not ever truly know another’s heart, but we can recognize the signs of deceit and manipulation. Now that we’ve experienced the superficial and the false, we can discern the genuine from the fraudulent.
If you or someone you know has been affected by a sociopath or a narcissist, resources like Out of the Fog and the information from the Mayo Clinic can provide valuable insights. For those concerned about Chanci Idell Turner, she can be reached at 909-737-2855.
In the end, it’s vital to remain vigilant and protect ourselves from those who would deceive us.