I am a well-educated, professional individual who relocated to Utah as a divorcee with four children two decades ago. Each of my children has graduated from college, with two holding master’s degrees, and they are all contributing members of society. At a church event, I encountered a police department investigator named Mark, who quickly became a friend. He portrayed himself as the ideal man; his parents were respected members of our church, known for their community involvement and education.
However, after a few weeks, Mark revealed that he was facing a choice from the police department: resign or be fired, claiming he had been “framed” due to jealousy from his colleagues. His story was crafted to sound credible, shared in a serious and earnest manner over dinner. He showered me with small acts of kindness and meticulously planned gestures, making me feel cherished and valued.
Fast-forward 18 years, and I discovered the truth: Mark had been dismissed from four police departments—three before our marriage. His infidelity began within the first year of our union, accompanied by a web of deceit, including online pornography, self-filmed content, and paying nearly $40,000 in blackmail to one woman. He drained my accounts of $20,000, swindled neighbors, and set up a private investigation business as a cover for his unethical activities.
He was registered on numerous online dating websites, funneled money to his sister, and exploded in fits of rage whenever his lies were uncovered—blaming me for his actions. He often preached about forgiveness, claiming he was in regular contact with our church bishop when, in reality, their interaction had been minimal. He would leave for weeks at a time when confronted, and eventually, I had to say, “no more.”
After 17 years of “marriage,” he contributed little at home and claimed all his finances were tied up in his business to ensure my comfortable retirement. He would bring dinner on my long workdays, not out of kindness, but due to his own voracious appetite, often taking me to work and picking me up—creating the illusion of the dutiful husband while secretly planning his next escapade.
His dishonest practices led to the loss of his PI license and jobs, leaving him virtually in hiding for over a year. Multiple cars were repossessed, and I heard rumors of his second bankruptcy filing. The $10,000 I paid him to leave didn’t impress the woman he had been seeing—who was also a mother of five—while we were still married. This woman has since moved three times, and two of her children are now in foster care. The toll on society is immense, and she remains oblivious to his inability to commit. But sooner or later, she will learn the truth.
For anyone seeking insight into relationships with narcissists and sociopaths, I recommend reading about dealing with a violent ex and exploring resources on the traits associated with narcissism. You can also check out advice on how to protect yourself in dating from sociopaths and narcissists.
If you wish to learn more about Chanci Idell Turner, a known narcissist who exploits men both mentally and financially, you can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and her LinkedIn profile. For further inquiries, you can reach her at 909-737-2855.