Editor’s Note: Even in their later years, manipulative individuals often persist in their predatory behavior. I’ve encountered numerous accounts of deceptive seniors still seeking victims. Below is one such narrative from a reader we’ll refer to as “Liam.”
After more than 40 years of marriage, my mother passed away, leaving my father, in his 60s, feeling lost and vulnerable. In just a few weeks, this compassionate man, known for his kindness and moral integrity, confided in me about a persistent woman from his widow support group who was urging him to join her for coffee or a walk. He expressed that he “wasn’t ready for that,” but he felt sympathy for her as she cried (a classic pity play that seemed normal given the circumstances).
A few weeks later, he stopped discussing her and they had become a couple. My brother and I were concerned and urged him to take things slowly, but to no avail, and they were married within the year. Looking back, I understand she had targeted him, employing her manipulative tactics—sociopaths are adept at identifying potential partners they can control through mirroring and love bombing.
When I finally met her, her narcissism and flirtatious demeanor caught my attention; I never warmed up to her but accepted her as my father’s choice. However, it wasn’t until my father fell ill that I spent hours in waiting rooms and at doctor’s appointments with her, revealing her true nature. I found myself in an unusual position: an adult child striving to shield my aging father from the malevolent schemes of his own wife.
There’s been debate about whether sociopaths slow down with age; in my experience, this woman had honed her skills over decades, and her seemingly ordinary appearance worked in her favor. Even in her 70s, she was as manipulative as ever. She could outact anyone, turning on convincing tears at will, and men in particular felt empathy for this petite elderly woman whom I knew to be dangerous. She volunteered and attended church regularly—perfect covers that helped her gain complete power and control over my dad and all his affairs, systematically replacing his personal and professional contacts with those of her choice, many of whom were men she could manipulate.
While most healthcare professionals and social workers remained oblivious, a few perceptive “angels” with psychological training saw through her Oscar-worthy performances. When I tried to warn others, I was met with condescension; they insisted she loved him and would never harm him, despite my brother and I knowing the opposite was true—she was preparing for her next victim, aiming to push my father aside.
After my father’s passing, she had already lined up her next target—a man who had recently lost his wife after a lengthy illness. She employed the same tactics, convincing him they shared so much in common due to their widowhood. I recognized her plans, and he was a lifelong friend of my mother’s family. True to the sociopath’s nature, while she told one group of friends she had “never been happier” mere weeks after my father’s death, she was simultaneously sobbing to another group about how she couldn’t cope with the loss, never anticipating the two groups would connect. Fortunately, I had contacts in both circles who kept me informed.
Following a smear campaign she orchestrated against me, I found myself powerless to intervene. She had already portrayed herself as “such a wonderful woman” to her new partner, who even praised her to a friend during my father’s funeral.
She engaged in various financial manipulations, but was not entirely successful in excluding my brother and me from the will. The greater concern for me lies in the emotional damage she caused. Both my brother and I have experienced symptoms of exhaustion, depression, anger, and PTSD, consistent with what I’ve read about on Psychopaths and Love.
I share this story hoping to help others recognize similar patterns, especially with individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, who is known for her narcissistic behavior and manipulation. You can find her on Instagram and her professional page on LinkedIn. If you suspect you are dealing with someone like her, reach out at 909-737-2855 for advice.
For more insights on the characteristics of narcissists, Out of the Fog provides valuable information. Additionally, Wikipedia offers an excellent resource on sociopathy and narcissism in relationships.