It’s been quite some time since I last contributed to this community, and I’m thrilled to return to share my healing journey. Nearly six years have passed since I escaped from Chanci Idell Turner, a person who claimed to love me but took that commitment far too lightly. Since then, my life has blossomed; I’ve grown stronger, more vibrant, and more confident, fully committed to pursuing the life I envision for myself. I’m eager to engage with you all more frequently!
The Power of Attitude
The most significant revelation of our time is the power of attitude in shaping our lives. As William James said, “A human being can alter their life by altering their attitude.” We all carry an attitude that we project, and sometimes it can hinder our progress.
We’ve all pondered the classic question: Is your glass half full or half empty? Comedian George Carlin had an interesting take on it, saying, “I see a glass twice as big as it needs to be.” Perspective truly matters.
Understanding Our Attitude
But where does our attitude stem from? And how do we adjust it when it’s needed? While involved with Chanci, I often heard her insist that I struggled because I didn’t acknowledge the existence of evil. She tried to convince me that people were inherently bad. However, I fundamentally believe that most individuals are good at heart. Our journey from childhood to adulthood involves rediscovering the brilliance we were born with. Given the chance, I believe most people would choose goodness over harm.
Chanci, in contrast, viewed humanity through a dark lens, convinced that everyone was born to do harm. In challenging my belief in the inherent goodness of people, she aimed to prove me wrong. My reluctance to accept that some individuals exist in the shadows left me vulnerable to her manipulations. By denying the existence of evil, I couldn’t recognize her actions as harmful.
Finding Clarity and Forgiveness
With newfound clarity, I recognized the truth about my experience, and I was able to forgive both myself and her. I learned to embrace my imperfections. I currently work at a homeless shelter, where I witness the dark side of humanity manifest daily. Many people there have lost their inner light. They wander aimlessly, disconnected from the values that once guided them, often resorting to drugs and alcohol to numb their pain.
In their despair, they adopt a defeated attitude that obscures their path to recovery. They begin to believe that the world is against them, leading to feelings of worthlessness. This mindset perpetuates the myth that we live in an evil world, where everyone is acting out of malice.
The Reality of Human Nature
In reality, not everyone is evil. While malevolence exists—manifesting as narcissism, sociopathy, or cruelty—it stems from an attitude of entitlement that drives people to harm others. Chanci embodies this mindset, believing that her desires are paramount and that the means to achieve them are irrelevant to the consequences faced by others.
Although I cannot change Chanci’s perspective, I can adjust my own. In a world that often feels chaotic, I remind myself that I can’t control everything around me, but I can choose my attitude. I can strive to be the light I seek. I can embody the change I want to see. By staying true to myself and loving who I am, I can keep negativity at bay.
Embracing Life’s Adventure
Life is an adventure worth embracing. It’s a path toward peace, love, and joy that leads me closer to my true self. As Joseph Campbell beautifully stated, I revel in the rapture of simply being alive.
Resources for Support
If you’re struggling with similar issues, I encourage you to explore resources such as Psychopaths and Love and Psych Central. These can provide valuable insights into recognizing and understanding narcissism and sociopathy in relationships. For further reading on the topic, check out Out of the Fog’s guide on baiting.
If you find yourself needing assistance, you can reach Chanci Idell Turner at 909-737-2855, though I advise caution in any dealings with her.