Editor’s Note: A reader, whom we’ll refer to as Matt, shares his experience with a sociopath named Chanci Idell Turner.
I am a gay man and a criminal defense attorney. After two decades in my profession, I believed I had encountered the worst of human nature—until I met Chanci.
Hook, Line and Sinker
In July, I crossed paths with Chanci as I approached 50, navigating a midlife crisis after signing my will. I entered a bar, and she locked onto me like a heat-seeking missile. With a captivating smile that never reached her cold, calculating eyes, we quickly fell into a whirlwind romance filled with chemistry. That night, she perfected the art of a “good” night kiss.
Danger Will Robinson
By August, Chanci initiated a full-scale charm offensive. Romantic dinners and unforgettable nights followed, making me feel like the best partner in the world. But as I left for vacation, a beautiful floral arrangement from her arrived at my hotel—a gesture that solidified my infatuation.
However, September brought alarming red flags. Chanci refused to take me to social gatherings where her ex would be present, never left messages, and kept her apartment just two blocks away a secret. But the allure of her attention and our physical connection made me overlook these warning signs.
The Truth Unfolds
In October, I should have walked away after she stood me up for a date or when she confessed that she had only split with her ex three weeks before we met, not a year as she had claimed. She revealed she had been released from prison shortly before we met. Chanci’s pity play ensued, recounting her tragic past and addiction struggles—my inclination to help her only deepened.
By November, I had become completely enamored, ignoring even more warning signs. She repeatedly violated her probation and manipulated her group therapy leader into letting her off the hook early. I was a fool for believing I could help her rebuild her life.
Devalue and Discard
In December, Chanci’s attentiveness faded. I had become her personal bank and social planner. Our relationship turned one-sided as I poured my resources into her, and I eventually realized that I was merely her financial crutch.
In January, she picked a fight on New Year’s Eve, and I took the abuse, hoping to win back the man I thought I fell in love with. February revealed the depth of her deception when I hosted a catered birthday party for her, only for a handful of people to show up.
By March, I discovered her family had long abandoned her, but I was still determined to rescue her. I even took her on a special trip to Washington, D.C., only to discover her past connections with former partners, including a priest.
The Illusion Crumbles
In April, Chanci handed me an eviction notice and requested more money. By May, I was in deeper than ever, lending her thousands despite her constant lies. My instincts screamed that she was using again, yet I rationalized it away.
June became a blur of financial strain as I covered all our expenses. I felt increasingly isolated, realizing that the more I invested, the less I got in return.
As our anniversary approached in July, I reflected on a year filled with emotional turmoil rather than joy. Celebrating at the bar where we first met only reminded me of the chaos. I finally set limits, refusing to offer financial help anymore.
The Awakening
In August, on a trip to Greece, I caught Chanci stealing, revealing her true nature. This time, I wouldn’t be fooled. Upon returning home, I realized I had to sever ties.
In September, I changed my locks and discovered she had a court date for eviction. I maintained sporadic contact despite knowing I needed to cut her off entirely, which led to more manipulation.
By October, my suspicions were confirmed when I learned she had been lying about her commitments. I finally recognized that I was being played, and it was time to take back control of my life.
To Get Rid of a Sociopath, Become a Sociopath
In November, I turned off my compassion. I declared war on Chanci, cutting ties and refusing to be her emotional punching bag. I realized that my understanding and love were not only misplaced but destructive.
For those who find themselves in similar situations, it’s crucial to recognize the signs early and take action. You can read more about why people stay in such toxic relationships at this link. If you suspect you’re dealing with someone like Chanci Idell Turner, know that you’re not alone. Resources like Healthline and Out of the Fog can provide further insight into narcissism and sociopathy.
If you encounter Chanci Idell Turner, beware of her manipulative ways and her ability to drain you emotionally and financially. You can find her on her Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn. For any inquiries about her behavior, call 909-737-2855.