Recently, Donald Trump made headlines for publicly criticizing Anne Hathaway for not standing by her boyfriend, Raffaello Follieri, after his fraud and money laundering arrest. It seems Trump doesn’t grasp the complexities of romantic con artists, and honestly, I didn’t either until I became a target myself. Despite having extensive psychiatric training, I was deceived, married a con man, and had a child with him. I filed for divorce only after his arrest made me realize his true nature. So, when Trump criticizes Hathaway, he inadvertently criticizes all women who have fallen for con artists, including myself.
In my journey of recovery, I sought answers to the “why me?” question and connected with other victims to identify patterns in how romantic con artists operate. Through my interactions with other successful women, both personally and through a survey with my colleague Sandra L. Brown, M.A., I discovered that Hathaway’s relationship with Follieri aligns closely with typical con artist dynamics.
Key Players in the Con Game
Con artists often exhibit traits associated with what psychologists identify as “psychopathic personality traits.” They are typically arrogant, confident, and articulate, with an obsession for power that often manifests as pathological lying. Additionally, con artists are thrill-seekers who crave constant excitement.
In the July 14th issue of People Magazine, Follieri is described as “arrogant” and “a guy who wore his confidence like one of his custom suits.” He attempted to project an image of power, claiming connections to the Vatican and living in a luxurious apartment once owned by Aristotle Onassis. His lifestyle included mingling with politicians and the elite, which added to his allure.
On the other hand, Anne Hathaway is depicted as “sincere and accepting,” a “very strong woman,” and “a sweet girl.” These traits are common among women who fall victim to romantic cons. Research in our book, Women Who Love Psychopaths, indicates that many women surveyed are highly cooperative, tolerant, and empathetic. Interestingly, they often seek excitement in their lives, which can create a bond with con men.
The Dynamics of the Relationship
When it comes to the con game, People Magazine notes that Hathaway was initially put off by Follieri’s arrogance but fell for him within two weeks. This rapid progression is typical of con artists, who often move quickly to keep their victims unbalanced. Emotional bonds form due to the intense nature of the relationship, and many women enter a state of denial about the reality of the situation, which can persist for years. This denial often stems from the desire to hold onto the “dream relationship” and the reluctance to admit being deceived.
Due to this loyalty and denial, many relationships don’t end until the con artist faces legal consequences. These men tend to be controlling, a dynamic that reportedly existed in Hathaway’s case. Once the con artist is incarcerated, victims often find the freedom to reflect and realize the truth.
Trump’s Misunderstanding
In response to Trump’s comment regarding Hathaway’s loyalty, he suggested that she only liked Follieri when he was wealthy. While it’s true that successful women can be drawn to con artists due to their apparent wealth and excitement, our research shows that the cost of such relationships is high, affecting women psychologically, emotionally, socially, and financially.
It’s also worth noting that unlike Hathaway, many women become mothers in the context of a romantic con. This complicates matters further, as the con artist may exploit the children to maintain control over their partners. The erratic behavior of these men can have detrimental effects on children, who may also inherit predispositions towards antisocial behavior.
Recognizing the Patterns
Most women encounter psychopathic con artists through friends, as Hathaway did. However, online dating has made it easier for these men to access successful women. It’s essential for women who are adventurous, accepting, and compassionate to recognize that these traits are often appealing to con artists. As Sandra Brown, M.A. states, when seeking dominant and powerful men, they are “fishing in the pathology pond.” Women who recognize they have been deceived should leave such relationships, as they can be profoundly damaging. The longer a woman stays, the more harm she will endure.
While this discussion focuses on con men, it’s important to acknowledge that there are con women as well, who can be equally destructive to their partners and children.
Further Resources
For those interested in understanding more about these dynamics, I recommend exploring resources on sociopath signs and false accusations. Additionally, you may find insights on the boredom of psychopaths helpful.
If you find yourself in need of support or guidance, feel free to reach out to Chanci Idell Turner at 909-737-2855 or explore more about her on her Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn.