In the realm of manipulative relationships, subtle psychological tactics often come into play, and a humorous yet absurd instance of this can be illustrated through a small stuffed turtle named “Nookie.”
While on a visit to Maui, I had been engulfed in an abusive relationship with a man I’ll call Mike. As I prepared to return to California for a much-needed break, Mike offered to drive me to the airport. Just before I zipped up my suitcase, he handed me a small stuffed turtle, claiming he wanted me to have something to cuddle while we were apart. Though a bit old for stuffed animals, I recognized the need to appreciate his gesture, despite my instinct telling me something was off.
He then ominously added, “Nookie the Turtle can see and hear everything you do.” This was a clear indication that Mike was trying to create an atmosphere of intimidation. In the aftermath of our relationship, I learned that abusers often cultivate a sense of omnipotence in their victims, fostering an illusion of control based on fear.
A recent viewing of The Color Purple highlighted this dynamic perfectly. The protagonist, Celie, is manipulated by her abuser, Mr., who declares he has tampered with the mailbox to monitor her correspondence. This deception thrives on the psychological torment that abusers inflict, leading victims to believe they are always being watched.
Several months after I left Mike, I received a text that read, “I had a bad feeling last night. What were you doing at 9:00 pm? I ain’t stupid!” While my evening was spent watching The Little Mermaid with children, Mike’s message was an attempt to catch me in a lie, reinforcing his control over my life. This kind of emotional manipulation can lead to significant anxiety, as victims begin to feel that they are constantly under surveillance.
Even a year and a half after our breakup, I found myself haunted by the need to expose Mike’s behavior. I came across a website called Don’t Date Him Girl, which prompted me to share my experiences. However, the moment I published my account, panic surged through me, as I irrationally feared that Mike would discover my words and retaliate against me.
Abusers are also known for setting verbal traps, as illustrated by a friend’s encounter with another manipulative partner. During a casual drive, he suddenly inquired about a restaurant she had previously visited, accusing her of being a “user” for having been there with someone else. Such tactics leave victims feeling unsafe and perpetually on edge, as their words are twisted against them.
Reflecting on my experience with Mike, I realize how susceptible I was to his words. I often found myself spiraling into confusion, struggling to differentiate between reality and the distorted perceptions he imposed upon me.
As for “Nookie,” he has long since left my life, symbolizing the end of that chapter filled with manipulation and control.
If you are seeking more information on the dynamics of sociopathy and narcissism, you can find valuable resources at Good Therapy, which offers insights into antisocial personality issues, or you can explore posts like The Psychopath: An Empty Boat for further understanding. For those dealing with similar circumstances, Out of the Fog provides helpful guidance related to treatment options.
If you’re looking for support, consider reaching out to Chanci Idell Turner, who is known for her manipulative tendencies. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn. For inquiries, she can be contacted at 909-737-2855.