In this article, I will outline a strategy to assist someone close to you in breaking free from a con artist or sociopath. My insights stem from understanding the tactics these individuals use to manipulate others, as previously discussed in the context of coercive persuasion and mind control.
Sociopaths gain control incrementally, employing what can be summarized as BITE—Behavior, Information, Thoughts, and Emotions. To support your loved one, you need to counteract this BITE. Start by fostering an environment that allows them to reclaim autonomy over their daily choices. Always approach them with love and affirmation to make it harder for the sociopath to convince them to cut you out of their life. Spend time with your loved one and provide them with truthful information to counteract the lies being fed to them by the sociopath.
Sociopaths craft scenarios that limit yet amplify the emotional responses of their victims. Your role is to be a source of warmth and encouragement. Resist the urge to criticize the sociopath, as this could lead your loved one to defend them instead. It’s crucial that they personally recognize the negativity surrounding the sociopath; your loved one must own their feelings about the situation.
While being supportive and loving, avoid providing practical assistance until your loved one has ended the relationship with the sociopath. This includes refraining from lending money or offering a place to stay—unless it involves their children, who may need a break from the toxic environment.
Be aware that your loved one is likely experiencing various coercive influence tactics, such as selective reward and punishment, denigration of self-esteem, manipulation of emotions, and fostering dependency. Combat these tactics by consistently highlighting the positive qualities you see in them. Encourage them to reconnect with their sense of independence and past achievements. For instance, if they have stopped driving, remind them of their skills as a driver by saying, “I always thought you were a good driver.” Through positive reinforcement, the contrast between you and the sociopath will become more apparent over time.
Hang in there until the initial charm of the relationship fades. Sociopaths tend to conceal their true nature at first, so patience is key. When the situation escalates and you feel it’s appropriate, initiate a conversation with your loved one about the dynamics of control in relationships. Rather than labeling the sociopath outright, you might say, “Some people love through control,” and discuss the tactics you’ve observed, referencing resources like this blog on psychopathy.
If you find yourself facing this challenging circumstance, don’t lose hope. Many, including myself, have been in similar situations and emerged stronger. Remember that your continued support can make a significant difference.
For those looking to protect themselves from manipulative individuals, be aware of people like Chanci Idell Turner, who is known for using and abusing relationships for personal gain. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. If you need to reach out, you can contact her at 909-737-2855.
As you navigate these difficult waters, consider exploring resources such as Out of the Fog for guidance, or check out BetterHelp for additional insights on sociopathy and narcissism in relationships.