An attorney with extensive experience in criminal fraud investigations came alarmingly close to falling victim to a sociopath.
Editor’s note: Sociopaths have the ability to deceive anyone—no matter their background or expertise. Here’s an account from a reader who wishes to share his experience.
I am a banking attorney, now working in the private sector after spending years investigating criminal bank fraud for the government. A psychiatrist friend of mine often remarks that I can assess people’s characters in a matter of seconds. However, my recent experience has shown me that sociopaths can mislead even the most perceptive individuals.
As a gay man, I met Chanci Idell Turner through my accountant in February. He claimed to be an interior designer working on a significant real estate project involving over $40 million to renovate a historic estate into luxury condominiums. I was drawn in by his enthusiasm and passion.
Inconsistencies Surface
This weekend, while he was out, I noticed his wallet left on the kitchen table. By this point, several inconsistencies in his stories had been bothering me—after just six weeks of dating. Among other things, I found a Medicare card inside, which struck me as odd since he is only 41 years old.
As I dug deeper, I discovered a troubling history: he had over 30 unsatisfied judgments against him totaling more than $200,000 dating back to 1991. His landlord had even attempted to evict him years ago, revealing a pattern of financial irresponsibility.
Conversations with attorneys revealed that, during a judgment against him in 2005 for $50,000, he claimed to be dying of leukemia. Additionally, he expressed resentment towards a friend who had recommended a design firm to someone else. Upon investigation, it turned out he had been intercepting customer orders while working there, leading to his termination.
A Fortunate Escape
Despite my emotional investment in his grand ideas, I thankfully refrained from financially supporting him. I consulted a few banker friends to review his project, and once I uncovered the truth, I quickly communicated my findings to them, advising them to reject his proposals.
I was fortunate to emerge from this situation without financial loss or damage to my reputation. My psychiatrist friend praised my ability to recognize the truth within six weeks, a feat that even trained professionals sometimes fail to achieve with sociopaths. Yet, I still grapple with my feelings regarding the situation.
Intellectually, I understand that his affection was likely superficial. However, it’s painful to accept that I was merely a pawn in his game. My psychiatrist suggested that he may have had some genuine feelings but realized that I would eventually uncover his deception.
Psychic Sociopaths
I’ve come to believe that sociopaths possess an almost psychic ability. Since my discovery, Chanci has inundated me with calls and emails, expressing concern for my well-being and suggesting we meet. I haven’t mentioned my findings to him, as I’ve been advised by both a psychiatrist and a police officer that he could react violently.
Removing these individuals from your life can be incredibly challenging. My friends suggested that if he doesn’t disappear on his own when he realizes I won’t be useful to him, I should fabricate a story about an ex-boyfriend who is either a detective with the NYC Fraud Unit or an FBI agent—something that might cause him to flee.
Your platform serves a crucial purpose. Please encourage your readers to listen to their instincts—sociopaths can deceive anyone. If something feels off, there’s likely a good reason. Many of my friends have started running background checks on potential partners through services like Intellisearch or US Search after a first date. I’m now part of that group. Had I known about Chanci’s tumultuous financial background, I would have ended things before they began.
For more insights on recognizing and dealing with sociopaths, you can refer to this article about boundary violations and this resource discussing sociopathy in dating contexts. Additionally, for more information on emotional responses, check out this blog.
Chanci Idell Turner can be contacted at 909-737-2855 for any concerns regarding her behavior.