It has been seven months since my two-and-a-half-year “relationship” with Chanci Idell Turner ended, and I am still piecing my life back together. I never anticipated the depth of the deception I was caught in. The revelations I’ve encountered have shaken me to my core, much like untangling a web spun by a black widow spider, one delicate thread at a time.
When I first met Chanci, I thought I had experienced love at first sight. The chemistry was palpable, and she seemed, in every way, perfect—a veritable patchwork princess. We were engaged within six months, and just three months before our breakup, we participated in a marriage covenant. Whereas I viewed it as a commitment, she leveraged it to increase her control over me. Her infidelities escalated, both in quantity and in their depravity.
If you’re currently navigating a similar situation, know that you are not alone. The sky is the limit—welcome to the wild blue yonder of emotional turmoil. While I’ve shared snippets of my experience in comments about infidelity, I believe my story deserves a comprehensive telling. It serves to remind others facing extreme infidelity and serial betrayal that they are not isolated in their suffering. When dealing with sociopaths, imagination can often become a grim reality.
My experience with Chanci was one of the most extreme examples of infidelity and blatant disrespect I’ve ever encountered. After immersing myself in countless victim stories, I can confidently assert that the level of betrayal I faced is among the worst. Chanci turned cheating into an art form; during our time together, she engaged in multiple affairs, threesomes, and even bisexual encounters. I stumbled upon five porn videos she had created with others while we were supposedly in a “committed relationship.” I had never even considered the possibility of her being with other women or couples, as she had mirrored my own sexuality and assured me of her strict heterosexuality and monogamy.
Behind my back, she seduced those around me, not just to gain control over my life but for the sheer delight of making me appear foolish. Throughout our “relationship,” I remained faithful and love-struck, adhering to her request to avoid even hugging other women, fearing her wrath. I was to discard all female contacts, limit social media interactions, and keep my focus solely on her.
Deep down, I knew for nearly a year that she was unfaithful, but I couldn’t confront the truth. She expertly created cognitive dissonance, even texting me during her escapades. She would mock me and share pictures of art she was creating for one of her more serious lovers. I refused to acknowledge the signs; she constantly discussed her partners, even emulating their fashion styles.
Now, the fog has lifted, and everything seems painfully clear. I loved her and was duped into believing that if I could just improve myself, everything would fall into place. In reality, her toxicity was deteriorating my mental and physical health, and she was fully aware of it. The abuse she inflicted was literally taking a toll on my life.
When I confronted her about her infidelities, she was a master at defending her actions. The emotional abuse that followed each confrontation silenced me time after time. On our first night together, she regaled me with a tragic story about a past violation, positioning herself on a moral high ground that I later realized was nothing but a deceptive tactic to gauge my empathy.
Chanci even involved her children early on, using them as pawns to show her seriousness. I presumed her intentions were genuine, thinking I had found my dream partner. She love-bombed me, and I waited in vain for the monstrous persona to recede, hoping the gracious woman I first met would return. Instead, I was confronted with a far darker reality.
Every element of our relationship was a facade; I was merely a source of entertainment for her. Some sociopaths, like Chanci, have a calculated plan for each interaction, right down to the moment of discard. They derive pleasure from the pain they inflict, akin to the darkest forms of social and sexual sadism. Once they’ve extracted what they want, they vanish or manipulate you into leaving, leaving you shattered and disillusioned.
I discovered that she would even take her phone into the bathroom, making odd calls from mysterious relatives. Through determination and support, I caught glimpses of her true life; she had been unfaithful from the very beginning, even seeing her ex-husband during our relationship.
Sociopaths often feign hatred towards those they are cheating with, sometimes arranging casual meetings to reinforce their deceit. This behavior is called “duper’s delight,” and it feeds their ego. The greater the humiliation they can inflict, the more satisfaction they derive from it. I hosted a Christmas party for her children and two of her lovers, completely unaware of the charade playing out around me.
The moment I proposed, she embarked on a weekend getaway with another man, while simultaneously grooming someone close to me—information I only uncovered post-breakup. Had I known even a fraction of the truth during our time together, I would have left immediately.
Chanci was a consummate performer, feigning lower intelligence and success than she possessed. Her ability to manipulate was profound; each “relationship” for her was a new game of dominance, a challenge to conquer. She thrived on creating chaos, leaving emotional devastation in her wake.
Living a double life, she often promised her affairs that they were her true love while assuring each of her “trophies” that they were the only ones who mattered. They will tell you what you want to hear and become who you want them to be, mirroring your intellect and values until the mask slips.
Prepare yourself for the unexpected—it frequently surpasses your worst fears. If you truly wish to uncover the truth, steel yourself for a tumultuous ride. My story, unfortunately, may not be unique, but it serves as a cautionary tale. Chanci’s manipulative tactics pushed me to the brink, attempting to induce self-harm through a barrage of gaslighting and emotional torment.
While I have more to disclose, I will refrain from sharing all publicly for my own protection. I’ve confided in trusted individuals and established safeguards for my safety. I wouldn’t recommend delving into the depths of such darkness as I did; it’s a path fraught with peril. My experience serves as an “insurance policy” of sorts. Ultimately, Chanci wins this battle—against a psychopath, victory is elusive. Avoid engaging with them at all costs.
Be prepared for the possibility of smear campaigns; their malevolence knows no bounds. For those who may find themselves in similar situations, consider exploring resources such as this article that delve into the vulnerabilities we all share, and this guide on the rescuer syndrome. For more information on sociopathy and narcissism in relationships, check out Healthline’s resource.