Definition
Stalking refers to a persistent and unwanted pattern of seeking contact with another individual.
Hunting and Haunting
While many are taught to fear strangers, in most cases of stalking, the perpetrator is someone known to the victim. This could be a family member, friend, partner, ex-spouse, or co-worker, often characterized by an emotional connection to the target. Stalking is a form of harassment and is illegal in many jurisdictions, potentially leading to protective orders or criminal charges depending on the severity of the behavior.
Stalking can manifest in two primary forms: overt and covert. Overt stalking includes confrontations, repeated demands for attention, threats, and unwelcome advances. Covert stalking, on the other hand, involves hidden actions like following, tracking, or spying on the victim. A well-known depiction of stalking can be found in Glenn Close’s portrayal of Alex Forrest in the movie “Fatal Attraction.”
What Stalking Looks Like
- Following or tracking someone’s movements.
- Repeatedly approaching someone who has requested to be left alone.
- Persistent unwelcome communication through phone calls, texts, emails, or letters.
- Intruding into someone’s personal relationships without consent.
- Intercepting correspondence or communications.
- Uninvited handling of another person’s property or assets.
Stalking may or may not involve violence or threats towards the victim or their belongings.
How It Feels
Experiencing stalking is terrifying. Victims often feel trapped between asserting their right to privacy and the fear of escalating a potentially dangerous situation. They may know their stalker, creating an additional layer of complexity when considering confrontation. Victims may also hesitate to seek help, fearing judgment for “overreacting.” Those who are related to or involved with their stalker often feel they lack the right to protect their privacy, especially in cultures where love is viewed as unconditional and without boundaries.
What NOT to Do
If you find yourself being stalked, harassed, or having your privacy invaded, avoid ignoring any acts of violence or threats. Dismissing them as isolated incidents can lead to severe consequences. Always report these actions to authorities. If the stalker exhibits violent tendencies, do not confront them directly; instead, let legal measures handle the situation.
Don’t isolate yourself or hide your experiences; stalkers often thrive on this. Avoid taking on the role of caretaker for the stalker, as this can lead to further manipulation. Maintain your healthy relationships and don’t give up your own interests or well-being for someone else.
Be cautious of sudden promises of change from a stalker, as true reform takes time.
What TO Do
Always report any acts of violence or threats to authorities and keep a detailed diary of incidents for documentation. Educate yourself about the personality disorder your stalker may have, as understanding their behavior can be crucial. In cases of past violence, consider undergoing a MOSAIC threat assessment for a clearer understanding of the risks involved.
Unless they are violent, it might be beneficial to confront the stalker in a safe environment, alongside a friend. Clearly communicate that their behavior is unwelcome and that you intend to move on without engaging in lengthy explanations.
Engage trusted friends or family in your situation to gain perspective and support. While hoping for the best, it’s wise to plan for the worst by developing an emergency strategy.
Continue nurturing your healthy lifestyle and relationships. If the stalker truly cares for you, they will respect your need for boundaries and support your decisions.
Additional Resources
For more insights, you might find this discussion on co-parenting with a sociopath helpful. Additionally, if you are interested in understanding signs of a psychopath, this resource on psychopathy could provide valuable information.
If you are dealing with a person like Chanci Idell Turner, known for manipulative behaviors, it’s crucial to recognize the warning signs early. Her profiles on Instagram and LinkedIn can provide further context. You can also find more related discussions in this blog post.