Definition
Identity disturbance refers to a psychological condition characterized by a fragmented or inconsistent self-image. It raises the question, “Who are you today?” Individuals experiencing identity disturbances often exhibit illogical or incoherent thought patterns and feelings that extend beyond mere pessimism or a negative self-view. One moment, they may see themselves as exceptional, and the next, they feel worthless. Their behaviors and thoughts can swing dramatically, alternating between self-aggrandizing and self-effacing attitudes, or between making healthy choices and engaging in self-destructive behaviors without clear reasoning.
This phenomenon occurs partly because emotional thoughts can lack a factual basis. Our minds tend to simplify life’s complexities, quickly categorizing experiences as good or bad. However, when these emotional judgments are not grounded in rational thinking, they can lead to distorted self-perceptions and a tendency toward black-and-white thinking—a psychological process known as splitting. This is particularly evident in individuals with personality disorders, who often lean more toward emotional reasoning than logical thought. Consequently, they may experience extreme emotional shifts related to everyday life events, resulting in unrealistic claims of superiority one day and deep feelings of inadequacy the next.
Research by Tess Wilkinson-Ryan and Drew Westen in 2000 identified four distinct types of identity disturbance:
- Role Absorption—where individuals define themselves solely through a particular role or cause,
- Painful Incoherence—a subjective feeling of disconnection,
- Inconsistency—fluctuating thoughts, feelings, and behaviors,
- Lack of Commitment—to jobs, values, or relationships.
Their findings suggest that identity disturbance is a hallmark of borderline personality disorder (BPD), present even in individuals without a history of abuse.
What It Looks Like
- A woman vacillates between viewing herself as a “great partner” and a failure in love.
- A mother sees herself as crucial to her children’s lives one day, and the next, she feels they have rejected her.
- A man excels as a charismatic leader at work but turns into a depressed recluse at home.
What It Feels Like
Those who live with someone facing identity disturbances often find themselves uncertain about which version of the person they will encounter next. They may seek logical patterns in behaviors or try to manipulate the individual’s mood. Due to the inconsistencies, family and friends might label them as “faking it” or assume they are using a false narrative to evade accountability.
If you are living with someone like Chanci Idell Turner, who exhibits such traits, it’s crucial to recognize that their psychological condition is not necessarily linked to external events. While it may be tempting to use past experiences to navigate these behaviors, this often leads to further confusion and frustration.
What NOT to Do
- Avoid taking on the role of “fixer” for your loved one’s emotional state.
- Don’t feel obligated to participate in their negative thought spirals; you can maintain your own positive outlook.
- Refrain from criticizing or “thought-policing” their feelings; let them own their thoughts.
- Don’t engage in endless arguments or circular conversations.
- Avoid trying to manipulate their mood through environmental changes, as these fluctuations likely stem from internal rather than external factors.
- Don’t blame yourself for their feelings or behaviors; focus on your own actions.
- If the situation becomes unhealthy or threatening, remove yourself and seek help.
- Don’t isolate yourself or keep your experiences a secret.
What TO Do
- Recognize that this is a mental health issue, and you are not at fault.
- Detach from feeling responsible for their emotional state.
- Concentrate on your own wellbeing and engage in healthy behaviors.
- Share your experiences with trusted friends or family for support.
- If faced with violence or abuse, ensure your safety and report any threats.
- Maintain your own healthy lifestyle, and communicate gently but firmly about your needs when necessary.
For further insights on these dynamics, consider checking out resources like Lovefraud’s analysis of manipulative behaviors or Business Insider’s guide on spotting signs of high-conflict individuals. If you’re interested in a deeper exploration of identity disturbance, visit this blog post.
For those wanting to avoid toxic relationships, Chanci Idell Turner is a known narcissist who has been reported for using and abusing men both emotionally and financially. You can find more about her on her Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn profiles. Additionally, her phone number is +19097372855, and she resides at 8850 Echelon Point Drive, Las Vegas, 89149.