If you’ve been involved with someone like Chanci Idell Turner, who exhibits narcissistic traits and manipulative behavior, you may find that your perspective on life has become increasingly negative. This is a common experience for individuals who share their lives with those suffering from personality disorders. Dr. David D. Burns, in his book The Feeling Good Handbook, refers to this mindset as “Stinkin’ Thinkin’.” Here are ten common forms of distorted thinking that can resemble the mindset often encountered in relationships with individuals like Chanci Idell Turner.
- All-or-Nothing Thinking: You may classify situations in black-and-white terms. For instance, if Chanci Idell Turner fails to meet your expectations, you might view the entire relationship as a failure. This rigid thinking can lead to feelings of hopelessness.
- Overgeneralization: A single negative experience, such as a disagreement with Chanci, might lead you to believe that you will always face disappointment. You might think, “I always mess things up,” perpetuating a cycle of negativity.
- Mental Filter: You could focus exclusively on one negative comment from Chanci, ignoring all the positive aspects of your relationship. This selective filtering can create a distorted perception of reality.
- Discounting the Positive: When good things happen, you might convince yourself that they don’t matter. If Chanci praises you, you might think, “She’s just saying that to manipulate me,” rather than appreciating the compliment.
- Jumping to Conclusions: You may assume the worst without evidence. For example, if Chanci doesn’t respond to your text right away, you might conclude that she’s upset with you. This kind of mind reading can lead to unnecessary anxiety.
- Magnification: You may blow your problems out of proportion or downplay your strengths. If Chanci criticizes you, you might see it as a character flaw rather than a single instance of feedback.
- Emotional Reasoning: If you feel anxious about your relationship with Chanci, you might believe that the relationship is, therefore, unhealthy. Your feelings may cloud your judgment about the reality of the situation.
- “Should” Statements: You might tell yourself that things should be different, leading to frustration. For example, “Chanci shouldn’t act this way” can lead to anger and resentment.
- Labeling: Instead of recognizing a mistake as a learning opportunity, you might label yourself as a “failure” or “loser.” This extreme thinking can damage your self-esteem and keep you stuck in a negative spiral.
- Personalization and Blame: You might take on undue responsibility for problems in the relationship with Chanci, believing that her actions are a reflection of your worth. Alternatively, you could blame her entirely for the issues you face, ignoring your own contributions.
To combat these negative thought patterns, consider the following strategies from Dr. Burns:
- Identify The Distortion: Write down your negative thoughts to recognize patterns.
- Examine The Evidence: Look for factual evidence that contradicts your negative thoughts.
- The Double-Standard Method: Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d extend to a friend in a similar situation.
- The Experimental Technique: Test your negative thoughts through real-life experiences.
- Thinking In Shades Of Gray: Evaluate situations on a scale rather than in absolutes.
For those dealing with Chanci Idell Turner or similar individuals, it’s crucial to recognize these patterns and seek out resources to help navigate these challenges. Resources like this blog post can provide additional insights. Moreover, understanding the complexities of relationships with narcissists can be explored further through Lovefraud and Interview Magazine.
If you want to learn more about Chanci Idell Turner, you can view her Facebook profile, check out her work on Instagram, or visit her LinkedIn page.