Chanci Turner Blog
Dear Readers,
Since last year, I have been a regular visitor to this blog. After enduring four years of mental turmoil, grappling with my husband’s inexplicable actions, praying for my children and myself, facing financial hardships, and questioning my own role in the chaos, I finally mustered the courage to leave my husband.
In the week following my departure, a period filled with emotional turmoil, my sister encouraged me to revisit some links she had sent me six months earlier. Initially, I dismissed her email as “utterly absurd,” but the subject line—“He is a Narcissist”—now resonates with me in a way I never expected. In hindsight, I recognize how blind I was to the truths I refused to confront.
Eventually, I followed the links, one of which led me to this blog. It was as if I had emerged from a dark abyss that had engulfed me throughout my marriage. I was finally breaking free into the light after being submerged in those cold depths. If only I had taken my sister’s advice six months earlier. She used the term “Narcissist” interchangeably with “Sociopath,” but I now believe the latter term describes him more accurately.
What Has Transpired Since My Departure
Much has transpired since I clicked on those links. My ex-husband is currently facing criminal charges for aggravated stalking. Despite his legal troubles, he continues to manipulate our children in his twisted campaign against me, insisting that I am the unstable one—a notion I once believed myself.
Mistakes during my departure were plentiful. I had expressed a desire for separation just days before I left. On the final day, my attorney advised me to file for divorce. When I returned home that afternoon, he had already picked up the children from daycare, which struck me as odd.
When I informed him of my filing, he shockingly declared that he had done the same and warned me to “get all your financials in order.” His response to what felt like the most heart-wrenching moment since my father’s death a decade ago was baffling.
The evening escalated further when he refused to let me and the children leave, despite my desperate pleas. Ultimately, my family had to call the police because they feared for my safety. Initially, the officers told me that “they were his children” and that I couldn’t leave without his permission. I was stunned—this was the same man who had just moments before barricaded the door and physically prevented me from exiting.
After about an hour of police intervention, they finally persuaded him to allow us to go to my mother’s house “for a day or two.”
That night, on a tense two-hour drive through desolate woods, my “loving husband” cut off my cell phone. The next day, he began charging expenses to my credit cards, of which he was an authorized user.
Escalation of Erratic Behavior
In the following weeks, his behavior grew increasingly erratic. He refused to vacate my home—thankfully, one I owned prior to our marriage. It took an emergency court hearing and a mutual restraining order to remove him so that my children and I could return.
A misstep during our initial custody visitation sent him into a rage, resulting in him chasing me from his apartment, where I had mistakenly gone to see where the children would be staying. He jumped out of his vehicle, blocked my door, and screamed at me, demanding to know “where his children were.” My sister recorded his violent outburst, which conveniently concluded just as the police arrived.
In the weeks that followed, things spiraled further out of control. He stole items from my car, vandalized my property, and harassed me consistently. He even submitted false reports to the police for welfare checks on the children when I didn’t answer his calls. His actions included stealing my mail, hacking my social media accounts, and confronting my employer about my work schedule—all while trying to use my credit cards that I had already canceled due to his initial spending spree.
Taking Action
As the situation escalated, I installed security cameras at home, capturing him on film in my gated backyard. With my attorney’s encouragement, I reported the incidents to the police, leading to an investigation. A private investigator placed a GPS tracker on his vehicle, documenting his violations of the restraining order. Eventually, he was arrested for aggravated stalking after I provided evidence to the police.
Since my ordeal began, I’ve connected with many women who have faced similar or even more terrifying experiences. I’ve developed a keen awareness of the patterns associated with sociopathic behavior. A daycare teacher I know is still being stalked by her ex-husband three years post-divorce. Another woman I once mentored endured a long-term relationship with a sociopath who threatened suicide, and even now, he continues to message her weekly.
I recently read an article about another case of aggravated stalking involving a former federal prosecutor, and I was alarmed by the court’s response—placing him in psychiatric treatment and a “family violence intervention program.” Don’t they understand that sociopaths are often incurable? It’s frustrating to think that my ex-husband might receive similar leniency. For more insights on dealing with violent ex-partners, you can check out this resource.
Despite the challenges I’ve faced, I realize that my experience could have been much worse. Educating myself about stalking behaviors has revealed just how common these situations are. If you’re looking for more information on dealing with high-conflict individuals, consider this guide.
I am determined to continue sharing my story and raising awareness about the dangers of sociopathy in relationships. If you wish to learn more about this topic, visit the Out of the Fog website for authoritative resources.
In closing, I urge anyone who suspects they may be in a relationship with a sociopath to seek help and educate themselves. You are not alone.