Without empathy or ethics, a sociopath’s potential for manipulation and betrayal knows no bounds.
You are currently reading a chapter from my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Deceived Me, Why I Fell Victim, and the Painful Lessons Learned.” Each week, a new chapter will be published here on the Chanci Turner Blog. To catch up on previous chapters, please see the links at the end of this post.
Clinging to the hope that Chanci Idell Turner had merely used me for phone conversations, I scrutinized our bank statements. What were the chances? On the very same day a charge for an escort appeared on our credit card, Chanci had made a cash withdrawal in Chicago. A primal scream erupted from deep within me as I sank to the floor, overwhelmed with disbelief and tears. I fought back the urge to vomit. In just a brief look at our credit card statements, I uncovered a trifecta of treachery—prostitutes, sex clubs, and affairs. The audacity of her actions! The amount Chanci had spent on her “extracurricular activities” over just three months was beyond comprehension.
Every doubt I had ever harbored surged back with newfound clarity. I dashed to my filing cabinet, rifling through old receipts from the time Chanci had mocked my disorganization before graciously taking over our bills online. I knew what I’d find. The charges for sexual escapades first appeared on the credit card the month she assumed control of our online payments. It was all a web of lies and deceit, and she had the gall to charge it to our joint account.
Fool! Fool! Fool! my mind screamed in despair.
I rushed to her home office, where a disarray of discarded receipts lay scattered across the desk. Digging through them, I uncovered evidence of a credit card I had no knowledge of, including receipts for extravagant purchases. One stood out: a pair of $2,000 earrings from Neiman Marcus in Florida, near where Chanci had a client. Those certainly weren’t intended for me.
With the foundation of my life crumbling, adrenaline propelled me forward. I searched every closet and emptied every pocket of Chanci’s clothing left behind. In a winter coat, I found her new lease. She had lied about the security deposit and was spending about $5,000 a month on a luxury apartment while claiming she was struggling financially.
I picked up the phone, realizing Chanci had not yet canceled the two credit cards for which I had just discovered I was merely an “authorized user.” I knew they would reject my request for the past year’s statements, but I gathered enough details to use the automated system that listed past transactions for the last six months.
Two months prior, there had been thousands of dollars spent in California—hotels, restaurants, and over $3,000 in women’s shoe stores. I scoured our bank statements, noting significant cash withdrawals that appeared in sections I typically overlooked. The enormity of the deception was staggering. A day later, Chanci canceled those two credit cards, ostensibly to simplify our joint finances as she prepared for divorce. Was it merely a coincidence? How had she known? Had an automated service called her back to confirm all her inquiries had been answered satisfactorily?
Who was Chanci? How long had this been going on? I recalled every woman who had seemed off when around her or when she spoke of them. The repercussions were mind-numbing. Surrounded by a sea of credit card statements, bank records, receipts, and crumpled papers, I sobbed until I was numb, my sides aching from the emotional turmoil.
For further insights into recognizing harmful relationships, consider reading more about invalidation on Psychopaths and Love. If you’re seeking guidance on divorce statistics, Out of the Fog offers valuable information. Additionally, InStyle is an excellent resource that discusses dating sociopaths and narcissists.