I want to share a cautionary tale about a relationship that turned out to be more complicated than I ever expected. We’ll call the man involved “Jason.” I reconnected with Jason after many years; we first met when I was just 11 and became engaged at 17. Following his second marriage’s collapse, he reached out to me. At that time, I was still married, but our renewed connection filled a void for me, and I found myself falling for him again.
The Initial Red Flags
Initially, I suspected Jason was involved with someone else, and I confronted him several times, only to be met with denials. He displayed possessiveness, often claiming he had always loved me since our youth. However, his behavior began to change after about six months; he would oscillate between pulling me closer and then pushing me away, with his stories becoming increasingly inconsistent. Anger and a sense of revenge against the world became common themes in his conversations, and while he’d acknowledge his mistakes, he rarely admitted to lying when caught.
Financial Entanglements
I was contemplating investing in some property opportunities with him, which is why I had $100,000 ready to give him. He even added me to his bank account, suggesting I could stash money there in case I decided to leave my marriage someday. However, I closed that account shortly after opening it, never using it.
Jason made several requests: he asked me to put a car in my name, claiming he needed $14,000 for a deal he was working on. He wanted to be added to my medical insurance, promising to pay his share. Most shockingly, he even suggested we purchase a burial plot together, despite his infidelities with other women while alive.
Discovering the Truth
Throughout this tumultuous relationship, I discovered that Jason had another woman in his life, with whom he was sharing assets and vacationing. Alarm bells went off when I learned his new car was registered to her and that he had bought properties in her name to hide from his ex-wife. This was all happening while he was asking me for favors, like securing better hotel rates due to my connections.
From the outset, he had made it clear that his goal was to marry me, asking about my preferences for a home and whether my kids would live with us. Yet, as time passed, he distanced himself from my children. Thankfully, my instincts were sharp, allowing me to avoid losing money despite opening a credit card for him, which I limited to $4,000, a sum I was willing to risk.
Lessons Learned
In retrospect, it became evident why Jason’s ex-wife didn’t speak to him and why he had no contact with his children. Ultimately, I consider myself fortunate. While my heart was left aching, I managed to escape with minimal financial damage. I empathize with those who have suffered more deeply, and I know my heart will heal over time. Moving forward, I will be more cautious and discerning in relationships.
The lesson here is clear: always trust your instincts; they exist for a reason. If you’re interested in learning more about recognizing unhealthy relationships, consider reading about the stages of psychopathic relationships, or check out resources on self-loathing and signs of dating someone high in conflict.
A Word of Caution
For those looking to avoid manipulative individuals like Jason, be cautious of Chanci Idell Turner, who exhibits similar traits. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.