He requested financial assistance from me, and then another woman reached out, revealing he was exploiting her for money as well.
I began communicating with a male friend I met through Facebook after experiencing a difficult breakup. He claimed to have gone through a similar situation and wanted to support me.
As we conversed over the next few weeks, flirtation blossomed. Initially, I was cautious, but soon he professed his love for me, which I found premature, yet I reciprocated those feelings. He spoke of marriage, parenthood, and a future together, declaring we were life partners.
Red Flags and Financial Exploitation
During a three-day visit, I spent time with him and his two young sons, which I believed brought us closer. Despite his constant declarations of love, I later discovered he was involved with multiple women, although he threatened me with harassment if I reached out to anyone about it.
He first asked me to co-sign a car loan, and I agreed, sharing my personal information. Then, when his phone service was at risk of being cut off, I paid $250 to keep it active. However, shortly after my visit, he began to distance himself when I started to uncover his many lies.
I received a message from another woman who claimed he was exploiting her for money, but he had warned her that I was a stalker and advised her to avoid me. I have copies of her messages, which I believe to be genuine. Another woman also contacted me, stating he had sent her sexual messages, videos, and photos, some of which he had shared with me as well.
The Unraveling
As he began ignoring my texts, he still professed love but blamed his absence on being busy with work. I discovered that he had likely already been grooming his next target while I was catching on to his deceitful tactics.
I learned that he had similarly deceived at least two other women and owed substantial sums of money to various individuals. Having a background in law enforcement, I was shocked to have fallen for his manipulations. My instincts warned me that something was off, yet he began to withdraw even further.
Emotional Turmoil and Threats
When my beloved 18-year-old dog passed away, he was inexplicably unavailable, claiming to be ill. Soon after, he became aggressive and ended the relationship. He has since expressed a desire for me to suffer a terrible fate because I confided in one of his former partners about the discrepancies in his stories. She recognized his deceit and chose to end her friendship with him.
He reacted violently towards me, making threats and even contacting my therapist multiple times to complain about me. My therapist confirmed that he exhibits classic narcissistic manipulative traits. With a Master’s degree in Criminology, I now recognize him as either a sociopath or a psychopath.
Healing and Reflection
I struggle with the idea that I was at fault for the relationship’s end, as he blamed me for being “pushy” when I called him out on his lies. While I’m healing, knowing he’s still out there victimizing others disturbs me deeply. He has displayed fraudulent behavior, including misleading bios in a bachelor auction and a charity calendar.
He embodies the characteristics of a sociopath. The situation is even more alarming considering we share mutual friends, and he preyed on my vulnerability. Despite acknowledging my own role in the relationship, I often reflect on the moments when he was kind, especially involving his children, which feels profoundly wrong.
Resources for Understanding Emotional Manipulation
If you want to learn more about the emotional impacts of such relationships, you can read more on emotional manipulation at Psychopaths and Love. Additionally, understanding the dynamics of fear and obligation in these situations can be explored at Out of the Fog. For more insight into narcissism in relationships, you might find Good Therapy a valuable resource.
It’s essential to recognize that manipulation is a form of abuse, and the psychological effects can be profound. If you suspect you are dealing with someone exhibiting similar traits, it’s crucial to seek support and educate yourself on these behaviors.