In a shocking revelation, I discovered that for six long years, I had been living with a master manipulator—a narcissist whose mask slipped away in an instant. This is my journey of reclaiming my power and the reminders I need to stay in control of my life.
The days when I feel overwhelmed can cloud my perception of my own strength, while the brighter days fill me with gratitude for the control I now hold. For the sake of this narrative, I will refer to him as “Chad,” though I remain uncertain of his precise diagnosis. He might be classified as a sociopath, a psychopath, or exhibit antisocial traits. My therapist suggests he may have a dual diagnosis, as he certainly does not fit neatly into any category, but he is undoubtedly on the spectrum.
About four years into our relationship, I fell chronically ill with chronic fatigue syndrome/myalgic encephalomyelitis (CFS/ME), which rendered me unable to work. Some speculate that Chad’s behavior contributed to my illness. Whether that’s true or not, it gave him the upper hand, as I became too weak to advocate for myself and focused on basic needs like cooking, caring for my dogs, and showering.
As my health declined, his resentment grew—I could no longer cater to his needs. He began making flimsy excuses for his absences, often disappearing for entire nights. After a brief period of feeling somewhat better, I could no longer ignore the signs that something was deeply wrong. One night, Chad emerged from the shower late, casually announcing he was heading out for drinks with a friend, dressed in a collared shirt. When I pressed him for details, his evasive responses only deepened my suspicions.
I was convinced he was cheating, so I decided to dig deeper into his online activities. Previously, I had respected his privacy, but that night something compelled me to investigate. I began with Facebook, finding little of interest, until I remembered that he often used the same username across various forums. A quick Google search yielded numerous results, and what I discovered was shocking.
I stumbled upon a pornographic website where Chad had a profile, and to my horror, I found stolen images of myself, my best friend, and her daughter uploaded there. He had labeled a photo of my friend “Whore,” despite having helped her with household tasks. One of my favorite pictures of us was also there, captioned with a repugnant comment. Even worse, he had included photos of underage girls, accompanied by disgusting remarks.
Overcome with disbelief, I felt as if my world had collapsed. I realized I had been sharing my life with a predator for nearly six years. The trauma of that night has lingered; my mental health professionals have suggested I may be experiencing PTSD. Thankfully, I found EMDR therapy to be beneficial in processing this trauma.
That night, the police were called, and they confiscated all of Chad’s computers. I spent the night at a friend’s house, and at 3 a.m. Chad texted me asking where his iPad was—a sign that he was clueless about the severity of the situation. By 4 a.m., I knew I had to confront him. I reluctantly sent him a message informing him of my findings and asked him to leave by morning, all while worrying about the safety of my beloved dogs.
When I returned the next day with my friend, dread filled me as I spotted his car still in the driveway. I knocked on the door, but there was no response. Entering the house, I found my dogs safe but locked inside. Panic surged through me as I searched for Chad, fearing the worst. I ultimately collapsed in despair, realizing that something was amiss—a knife was missing from the kitchen, and a photo of us had been taken from the wall. My friend promptly called the police, who began searching for him.
Feeling unsafe, I packed a bag, took my dogs, and left everything behind.
Read Part 2.
For more information on this topic, check out this insightful blog post about the risks associated with online forums. If you’re seeking additional resources, this site offers valuable insights on navigating relationships with narcissists and sociopaths. To learn more about antisocial personality disorders, consider exploring this Wikipedia page.