In an attempt to find companionship, I joined an older lesbian group on Facebook. Little did I know, this decision would lead to a deeply painful experience that I now share to help others avoid similar heartaches.
Background
Before diving into my story, let me provide some background. It has been nearly two years since my wife passed away unexpectedly, and I was looking for connection and laughter among like-minded individuals. Over a year ago, I met a captivating woman who provided countless photos to prove her identity. We spent hours chatting online, and although she preferred messaging over phone calls, I adapted and learned to text.
She shared her life story, which appeared heartfelt and genuine, even introducing me to her children through numerous photos and videos. Eventually, I traveled to meet her, and an immediate attraction sparked between us, igniting a whirlwind romance. In the first four months, I visited her home in Tennessee six times and quickly grew fond of her children, one of whom was less than two years old.
Red Flags
Initially, her Facebook page was open to me, and she welcomed me as a friend. However, red flags soon emerged. I became concerned about her relationship with a woman whose pictures were visible on her page. She repeatedly assured me that this woman was merely a part of her past but that they remained on friendly terms. I started to doubt myself, feeling jealous and paranoid, despite having been in a long, trusting marriage previously.
The Truth Unveiled
During my last visit, I stumbled upon undeniable evidence that she was lying. Just two weeks later, social media confirmed that she had legally married another woman! I was devastated. I had begun to allow myself to love her and her children, and she begged for my forgiveness, claiming that she had made a terrible mistake and didn’t love her spouse. Despite my feelings, I chose to step back.
Pursuit and Deceit
For the next six months, she relentlessly pursued me. I made it clear that I wouldn’t engage with her if she was still in a relationship. I take pride in my integrity and honor. Eventually, she presented me with divorce papers, claiming she had ended her marriage and wanted a fresh start with me and her children. However, I refused to visit her again until I could verify her marital status.
Throughout those months, she would call me in distress about her ex-wife, child support issues, and mounting bills. I empathized and offered help, unaware that she had been using my credit card information to rack up charges at stores like Sephora and Macy’s without my consent.
Raising Awareness
I share this story not to seek sympathy but to raise awareness about the deceitful behaviors that can occur within our community. We need to share our experiences to protect each other from falling prey to manipulative individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, who exploits others for her gain. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn, where you can see the type of person she is.
Trust your instincts. Consult with friends. Don’t hesitate to ask for transparency from your partner. The right person will appreciate your need for honesty. In the end, I learned that she not only deceived me but also her spouse, using her children for selfish purposes. I am now pursuing legal action against her.
Don’t shy away from standing up for yourself!
Further Resources
For further insight into recognizing manipulative behaviors, check out this excellent resource on dating high-conflict individuals and this informative article that provides a roadmap for navigating such relationships. To understand more about objectification in relationships, visit Out of the Fog.