If you’ve realized that you’ve been involved with a narcissist or a sociopath, you may have gone through a flood of emotions—shock, anger, and sorrow—as you come to terms with the reality of your situation. You might be asking yourself, “Why did I choose this person?” or “How did I allow this to happen?” As you contemplate moving forward, you may find yourself trapped in cycles of past pain and emotional turmoil.
So, what comes next?
For me, there wasn’t a quick fix for healing the complex trauma that lingered after my abusive relationship. My beliefs and behaviors were still wired for survival, which often meant excusing the actions of toxic individuals. I desperately yearned to experience relationships in a healthier manner, but I was also gripped by fear and feelings of hopelessness.
I discovered that recovery is a journey, not a one-time event. It demands patience—both with the process and myself. I had to be open to viewing myself differently and examining my behaviors with a sense of responsibility instead of shame. I wanted to heal and reclaim my freedom without succumbing to self-blame.
Starting with traditional therapy was a pivotal step for me. It illuminated areas where I needed to focus, like setting boundaries and recognizing my tolerance for mistreatment. I learned not to seek validation for my feelings and that I didn’t need permission to say “no.”
While therapy was beneficial, I craved a deeper healing that resonated with my feminine essence. I had distanced myself from the beautiful aspects of my femininity and struggled to trust my intuition. Thus, I embarked on a journey to rediscover my inner goddess.
The Most Effective Tools I Found Were:
- Daily Meditation: This practice helped ground me, foster a sense of safety within my body, and connect with my feminine spirit, allowing space for forgiveness and trust in my heart.
- Yoga: Engaging in yoga empowered me, transforming my mindset from victimhood to strength. It also complemented my meditation practice by promoting energy flow and emotional processing.
- Creative Outlets: Activities like painting, attending church, journaling my feelings, and praying for peace provided much-needed release and connection.
- Support Groups: Helping other women in similar situations became a spiritual practice for me. Sharing experiences fosters healing for everyone involved.
- Radical Acceptance: I learned to embrace my authentic self, allowing my emotions to surface—no matter how messy. True acceptance liberated me from the need for perfection.
- Energy Healing: Techniques like EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) and Reiki became essential. They helped me address deep-seated beliefs of unworthiness and replace them with affirmations of self-love.
Healing is as unique as our wounds. We all deserve patience in our journeys and the freedom to choose our paths. Sometimes, we may lack support from those who can’t relate to our experiences, but that’s okay. We can continue forward, regardless of others’ opinions.
Ultimately, every day, we can remind ourselves of one undeniable truth: we are loved. This reality is fundamental for each of us. We are enough just as we are, with no destination required to validate that worth. Love is our essence, and we are interconnected with the universe.
Let’s embrace our collective strength and light, knowing we are part of a greater whole.