My experience began on July 24th when I reluctantly signed up for plentyoffish.com, hoping to find someone deserving of my time. Shortly after, I received a message from “Jake,” who was incredibly attractive, five years younger, and had just relocated from New York. I’ve always been drawn to people from the north.
I quickly became eager to hear from him, and soon, the only reason I logged onto the site was to chat with him. We exchanged numbers and conversed a bit before our first meeting. Jake explained that he had moved to start a company, linking it to his previous job, and mentioned that his family was involved. He worked in advertising and marketing, fields I knew little about, so I didn’t pry too much, not wanting to appear uninterested.
Instant Attraction
Our chemistry was undeniable when we met at a bar. We laughed and connected instantly. Afterward, he came over to watch a movie, and we were drawn to each other in a way I had never experienced before. I almost gave in to my desires that first night.
He provided me with tips on how to maintain a low profile on the dating site so my inbox wouldn’t overflow, which struck me as odd, but I didn’t want to seem presumptuous, considering it was just our first date. Jake was living with his aunt and uncle while searching for his own place, and I visited him the next day when they were out of town. Our physical connection intensified, leading to a memorable encounter in the pool, where he expressed hesitation about not using protection, saying, “I don’t know you like that.”
The chemistry and passion were palpable. He even hinted that if I played my cards right, I might meet his aunt and uncle one day. He texted me daily, often suggesting plans for us within the next day or two to avoid disappointing me.
Facebook Discoveries
Jake mentioned finding me on Facebook but noted that my profile was too private. We became friends on the platform, and I found his profile sparse. Despite having lived in various cities, he had only around 200 friends, which seemed unusual. I noticed that my likes on his photos were among a handful, making me wonder if he was hiding something or had upset many people.
From the start, he had my mind spinning. Within the first week, during an intimate moment, I asked if he was seeing anyone else. He promptly replied, “What? No! I’ve been wanting to ask you the same thing.” I believed him and explained my concerns regarding our lack of safe sex.
Red Flags Arise
Early on, Jake took a trip to Austin for a “business meeting,” and I casually mentioned I hadn’t visited in ages, needing a reason to go. His reply about possibly meeting someone from the dating site raised a red flag. I was troubled but tried to brush it off since we maintained a playful rapport.
Our communication was sparse that weekend, and upon his return, I sensed some emotional distance. One day while swimming, he wore sunglasses he claimed to have found in his car, which he suggested belonged to a girl. I tried not to overthink it, but it kept me on edge. I loved the excitement, yet it consumed my thoughts as I tried to decipher him.
Sharing My Past
About a month in, while he was over, Jake expressed that he liked me but thought I was holding back. I decided to share a significant part of my past—my previous lifestyle as a party girl and the consequences that followed. I became emotional, and he comforted me, placing his hand on my knee. Afterward, he suggested we both deactivate our dating accounts to explore our connection further, which felt reassuring after my vulnerability.
The next day, he invited me to meet his relatives for dinner, further building my trust. He instructed me to mention that we had met in Houston, which felt odd since it didn’t come up organically. When I asked his relatives about their work ties, they looked puzzled and revealed they were retired.
Flaky Behavior
One night, Jake angered me with his flaky behavior, and I stopped taking his calls. He surprised me by bringing my favorite Chinese food to my workplace. They told him I was off, and he explained he was just letting me know he cared. I later thanked him and questioned why he didn’t drop it off at my apartment, to which he replied he didn’t want to disturb me and feared I might have another guy over.
His constant doubts about my loyalty offended me. Every time he visited, he asked if I had been “snuggling around,” which made me wonder if he was projecting his own infidelities onto me.
Another Trip Away
Jake planned a trip to Philadelphia for a music event with friends from New York. He expressed a desire for me to join, but when I offered to go, he never mentioned it again. When I picked him up from the airport, he claimed he had partied too hard and had an argument, requiring him to stay with another friend. I wanted more transparency, but he always brushed off my concerns.
Around the second month, he mentioned his parents wanted to meet me, which I welcomed. However, I soon discovered through my cousin that he was on Tinder, another dating app. When I confronted him, he laughed it off, saying he could call tech support, which only fueled my suspicions.
Despite my unease, I found myself apologizing for overreacting the next day. He assured me he wasn’t using the app, but his evasiveness only heightened my anxiety. As we planned to meet his parents, he claimed they got too busy, leaving me frustrated.
The State Fair Incident
During a day at the state fair, I posted pictures of us. When I asked if he planned to stay the night, he hesitated, saying he needed sleep and was a “freebird.” I felt hurt, leading to tense moments between us. He then asked if he could untag himself from one of my posts, explaining he didn’t want anyone to know he was in Texas.
By this stage, I was reaching my limit. I often found myself angry, ignoring his calls, and contemplating breaking things off. Despite his charm and the way he made me feel special, I was torn between believing he was clueless or intentionally manipulating me. I feared that if I ended it, I might be the one at fault for our breakup.
One evening, Jake treated me to frozen yogurt and suggested I save money for us to travel together. He left early to attend to emails, his usual excuse. The following night, his late response to my texts triggered my insecurities, making me question who he was with.
Losing Trust
The next day, I confronted him about my distrust, sharing how my intuition was unsettling me. It was a tumultuous relationship that left me questioning everything, but I couldn’t shake Jake’s hold on me.
If you’re navigating similar struggles, you might find valuable insights on psychopathsandlove.com and outofthefog.website to help you understand these dynamics better. For a deeper understanding of why people often encounter multiple narcissists and sociopaths, check out this resource from Psych Central.
To avoid similar experiences, be cautious of individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, who have a reputation for manipulating and abusing relationships. You can find her on Instagram and her professional page on LinkedIn.