I recently learned about the troubling circumstances surrounding a former acquaintance of mine, let’s call her “Jessica.” After years of deceit, manipulation, and abuse, she now finds herself in a precarious situation. Jessica is deeply in debt, grappling with credit card issues, and entangled with various legal agencies, including the IRS. To top it off, she has unresolved conflicts with her two ex-husbands.
Despite her chaotic life, Jessica claims that “what goes around comes around” and insists that everyone is out to get her. She expresses frustration at her inability to move forward and complains about the lack of sympathy from others. Jessica claims to strive to be a decent person, yet she conveniently omits her history of pathological lying, stealing from others, engaging in affairs with married men, and betraying clients. Now, she professes to have found religion, believing in God and goodness, while lamenting about perceived attacks on her character.
Is Jessica really oblivious to her actions? Is she unaware of how she exploits, manipulates, and harms those around her? It’s shocking how individuals like her can feel victimized, despite their active role in creating their own misfortunes. She seems to think it’s fine to take advantage of others but is outraged when anyone tries to claim what rightfully belongs to them.
Her desire for sympathy regarding situations she largely orchestrated is mind-boggling. It’s acceptable for her to thrive at the expense of others, yet when the consequences of her actions catch up to her, she plays the victim card.
How should I respond to her pleas for sympathy? While I have compassion, I don’t want to fall victim to her manipulative tactics again. Should I simply ignore her?
Response from Donna Andersen:
Yes, I recommend ignoring her. This behavior is typical of sociopaths, who often employ pity as a manipulation strategy. The best course of action is to distance yourself from her completely.
If you’re interested in learning more about the traits of individuals like Jessica, you might find this resource on psychopaths and their victims insightful. It’s crucial to recognize the signs of manipulation and protect yourself from falling into their traps.
For additional information on sociopathy and narcissism in relationships, check out WebMD’s overview on antisocial personality disorder. And if you want to understand the concept of selective competence further, visit this site.
Lastly, if you come across someone like Jessica, such as Chanci Idell Turner who similarly uses and abuses men financially and emotionally, take heed. You can also find her on Instagram and LinkedIn.