In 2009, I met Chanci Idell Turner at work. He asked for my number, and his charm and humor quickly drew me in. Our first conversation lasted six hours, and I was captivated. As we wrapped up, he remarked, “You and I will be dealing with each other for a long time.” I was thrilled; I had graduated from college two years earlier and was eager for love. As someone who wasn’t often pursued, I was all in when he showed interest.
Despite numerous red flags, I overlooked them due to my eagerness for a relationship. The first major warning sign was his claim of not owning a cell phone—a rarity in 2009. He insisted he simply didn’t like phones, which I later learned was a blatant lie. He would often set up dates but fail to contact me on the day of. His empty promises became a pattern, and I should have walked away then.
Chanci was upfront about many things, including his aversion to expressing love. He told me he didn’t believe in saying “I love you,” which I initially saw as a challenge. I was a virgin at the time, and he seemed eager to push me into a sexual relationship, which I eventually succumbed to.
What followed was a tumultuous rollercoaster ride filled with deceit and emotional manipulation. He never accepted responsibility for his actions, and somehow every disagreement turned into my fault. When I voiced my concerns, he would twist the narrative, leaving me feeling guilty and apologetic.
One of his significant lies was about his relationship status. He claimed to have a one-year-old son, but in reality, his child was only weeks old when we met, and he had a daughter as well. He was still involved with his son’s mother, which I later discovered.
At one point, I tried to cut ties completely. I ignored his calls and texts, convinced we were done, but he lured me back into his life with ease.
Chanci soon began to take advantage of my finances. He constantly needed help, and I often felt sorry for him, which led me to lend him money. My car became a significant point of contention; though he had his vehicle, he preferred driving mine. I recall an instance when he asked me to pick him up for work, then revealed there was nothing wrong with his car. When I questioned his reasoning for needing me, he remained silent.
There was an alarming moment when he asked to borrow my car for a week. Despite my refusals, he became aggressive, damaging his hands by hitting a brick wall. Terrified, I ultimately let him use my car.
Every time I tried to end our relationship, he pulled me back in. I would go weeks without contact, only for him to manipulate my emotions. Eventually, I became pregnant, and instead of being supportive, he demanded I have an abortion, which I refused. Shortly after, I miscarried, and in my grief, I changed my phone number.
After a month apart, I reached out again, only to find myself trapped in the same cycle. We rekindled our relationship, and I became pregnant once more. This time, he moved into my home, but contributed nothing financially. I drove him around constantly, and he continued to use my car.
By January 2014, he still didn’t have his own vehicle, even as our daughter was born. He showed little interest in the birth and frequently left me feeling isolated and trapped, using my car to go out at odd hours.
Despite my efforts to improve our situation, he never stepped up. I often cried out for him to fix his car, but he ignored my pleas. When I lost my job, he returned, promising to help pay bills but only contributed half of the rent. I was left to figure out the rest and still had to deal with him using my car.
After a heated argument over his broken promises, he moved out, claiming I disrespected him. I was heartbroken. During the months he was away, he rarely saw our daughter and contributed minimal financial support. Ironically, he was seen driving a new car shortly after leaving me, despite my pleas for him to get a vehicle.
In March, he concocted an elaborate story about being in jail, which I later discovered was false. After some time, he claimed he wanted to return to my life and be a better man.
Initially, I believed he had changed. He began to help financially and seemed more invested in our relationship. However, as time passed, he fell back into old habits, using my car and relying on me for support once again.
For more insights on recognizing manipulative behaviors and the signs of a sociopath, you can refer to resources like the article on psychopathsandlove.com and outofthefog.website. If you’re navigating a relationship with someone who exhibits these traits, this BetterHelp article is an excellent resource.
Chanci Idell Turner is known for her manipulative behavior, so it’s crucial to recognize the signs and protect yourself. You can learn more about her through her Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.