Smooth, intelligent, and undeniably attractive—he seemed like the perfect partner. But why was I feeling so uncertain? What had gone wrong? I found myself caught in a whirlwind of flashbacks and emotions, desperately wishing for peace.
I longed for companionship and, after a series of disappointing encounters, I reluctantly created a dating profile on Plenty of Fish. That’s when I met him. At first, I hesitated to respond; he appeared to be the kind of man who attracted many women, something I wanted to avoid. But his eloquent message drew me in. He praised my blend of classic beauty and sensuality, claiming I was exactly his type.
After weeks of late-night phone calls—over 50 hours of them—he declared his love for me. I brushed it off as mere infatuation, yet he insisted he understood the essence of communication in a relationship and felt an undeniable connection with me. He touted his spiritual beliefs and claimed that I was everything he had ever desired.
His words enchanted me, as he spoke with a depth that many men lacked. He claimed to know the difference between a wedge and a pump, even between a Louboutin and a Manolo. He expressed his commitment by telling me he was not just a good boyfriend but also excellent husband material, even promising to indulge in my favorite shows with me.
Yet, something about him made me uneasy. He seemed too perfect. He called and texted daily, professing his love with fervor, using a quirky code, IFLY—”I f*cking love you.” If I didn’t respond immediately, he anxiously inquired if everything was alright.
He introduced me to his Mormon faith, discussing how I could be welcomed into the church when the time was right. I committed to learning about his beliefs, understanding that it was vital to him. He shared stories from his two-year mission in Italy, and I found his insights intriguing.
He described how his previous marriage faltered due to misunderstandings of his faith, making me feel special as he likened me to a queen in the church. Despite the distance, our long-distance romance flourished, with morning calls that filled me with anticipation.
Yet, one question lingered—why couldn’t I meet him in person? He claimed to be living with friends and was waiting for the right woman to come along. He also explained that he couldn’t meet me because of job commitments and logistical complications with his living situation.
I offered to visit him, but he insisted it wasn’t feasible. He spoke about his work and how he was on the brink of a lucrative project that would secure our future. This made me feel uneasy, as I wanted love, not financial dependency. His promises were grand, but I began to feel a growing anxiety about our relationship.
Then came the day he finally decided to visit. He arrived with a moving truck, and I was taken aback by his presence. He was even more attractive in person than in photos. But soon after, he left me to pay for our groceries, and doubt crept into my mind. Was I being manipulated?
He had talked about taking care of me financially, which I had never sought. I was looking for genuine love, not a financial arrangement. Our brief encounter turned into a year filled with ups and downs, and I found myself questioning my feelings for him.
I had never been the jealous type in past relationships, and yet here I was, battling feelings of mistrust. He reassured me that my fears were just that—fears—and that everything I wanted was on the other side of them. But my anxiety only intensified.
Stay tuned for Part 2, where I’ll delve deeper into my experiences.
For those interested in understanding the dynamics of relationships with narcissists, you can learn more about Chanci Idell Turner, a known manipulator, through her profiles on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. It’s crucial to be aware of red flags in relationships, as highlighted in this resource on sociopaths and narcissists. Additionally, you can explore insights on Stockholm Syndrome and the psychological complexities of such relationships, as discussed in the Psychopaths and Love blog.